Forgotten
by twistedthoughts
Summary: How would it feel to lose something that was always there? How would it feel to lose just a part of it? Would it be too late to come to appreciate it then?
1. Dreams

Hey people! I'm back for a second round of ShizNat! Once again, review and constructive criticism welcomed. Oh, and if any of you read Undecided, I'll be using a similar concept here too. _Italics are Natsuki's thoughts._ But I'll try not to depend on it too much.

Disclaimer: Do not own Mai-HiME or its characters.

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**Chapter 1: Dreams**

Natsuki came to awareness, all her five senses flooding her at the same time. It was dark, there was moonlight but her eyes had not adjusted, everything was shadowy. The air was cold and the smell of burnt wood and debris lingered. The only sound was that of breathing, but not hers alone. There was something warm in her arms. She lifted her head and looked around, noticing immediately that she was in the church, damaged and falling apart. She caught sight of two other people sanding at a distance behind her, the Sister and Ishigami-sensei. Her eyes roamed further, landing on the HiME star, and stopped. Her breath caught. That's right, just hours ago she had ordered Duran to destroy Kiyohime and itself, causing her and Shizuru to die in each other's arms. They had been resurrected. So that means the warm thing in her arms…she looked down and was greeted by a head of chestnut colored hair. Shizuru. The head moved, and she released the hold of the body, standing up. Shizuru looked up at her, and she could see confusion in the other's eyes. But the gaze didn't last as Shizuru turn away, looking around until finally noticing the HiME star and like her before, held a transfixed stare.

"Shizuru," she called with uncertainty, unsure of how to deal with her friend now with the events that took place between them right before their deaths fresh in her mind.

Shizuru seemed surprised to hear Natsuki call her name. She turned to look at Natsuki once again, confusion still present in her eyes. She slowly stood up before taking a step back, an action that puzzled the other.

"Shizuru?"

"I'm sorry," Shizuru started with an apologetic smile, "but," she paused, looking straight at Natsuki. "Who are you?"

---

Natsuki's eyes opened with a start, staring straight above. She took a deep breath before relaxing her tense limbs. Her hands automatically came up and swept her hair back.

_A dream…_

She knew this even before she regained consciousness. This dream had been recurring for the past week, every night without fail, right after her resurrection and the fall of the Obsidion Lord and the HiME star. But while she understood all the details, she didn't know why this dream had been recurring. She turned her head to look at the clock. It was three in the morning. Not much better than yesterday. She sighed and turned back to look at the ceiling. Why was her brain so insistent on showing her again and again what had happened? She took another deep breath and closed her eyes.

_A dream…no…_

_Shizuru…you've really…forgotten me._

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Short chappie cause this is just the intro. Story will probably pick up pace from chapter 3 or 4. Tell me what you think! Till next chap then! 


	2. Wishes

Here's chapter 2. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 2: Wishes**

"What happened?"

The question demanded an answer. And the one who the question was being directed to knew better than to try to avoid answering.

"Please sit down, Kuga-san"

Natsuki stared hard at the wheelchair bound girl in front of her. The maid was nowhere in sight. "I'm fine. Answer the question."

The Director of Fuuka smiled before gesturing towards the chair again. "This might take a while. Please."

Natsuki shifted her attention to the chair Mashiro was gesturing to and reluctantly walked towards it and sat, all the while keeping her eyes on the other. The table between them held two cups of hot tea but neither paid attention to them.

Mashiro relaxed in her chair before leveling her eyes with Natsuki's. "I'm sorry, Kuga-san. I don't know what has happened to Fujino-san. What has befallen her was not my doing."

"You don't know? You're the one who brought us back!" Natsuki spat.

Mashiro kept her calm. "That is true. Perhaps the resurrection caused the memory loss. But, I do not believe my own words."

Natsuki drew back. "What do you mean?"

"Fujino-san's memory loss is selective. The only memories she's forgotten is that of you, isn't that right, Kuga-san?" Mashiro asked.

'_Who are you?'_

Natsuki felt her teeth grit as she swallowed. She turned away sharply, forcing air into her lungs. "Aah…"

Mashiro quickly noticed Natsuki's reaction and looked down. "I'm sorry, that was unkind. But, it is because Fujino-san's memory loss is so selective that I think it could not have been caused by the resurrection directly."

Natsuki was silent a while but soon turned to face Mashiro again. However, her eyes no longer looked at the other. "Then, what did?"

Mashiro reached for tea and picked it up. She took a sip and smiled approvingly at its taste before returning the cup to its original position. "Kuga-san, the power surrounding yours and Fujino-san's resurrection was particularly different than everyone else, this you must understand. You were a HiME and at the same time Fujino-san's most important person. This applies to Fujino-san as well as she was a HiME and your most important person. When both of you died, it was because you were each others most important person. But in that same sense, you were both fallen HiME's. So when you two were brought back, there are two forces involved. The power to bring back fallen HiME's, like Sister Yukariko and the power to bring back the HiME's most important persons, like everyone else."

Natsuki leaned back on her chair, feeling glad that she decided to sit down. She understood what had been told to her but she couldn't see how it connected to anything, much less Shizuru's memory. "Will she regain her memories?"

Mashiro slowly shook her head. "I don't know"

Natsuki closed her eyes. "If what happened to Shizuru is caused by all that power, then why didn't anything happen to me?"

"How sure are you nothing did?"

Natsuki was taken aback. "What?"

"Fujino-san doesn't know that she doesn't remember you, isn't that right? Likewise, if you had forgotten something as well, you wouldn't know," Mashiro explained.

Natsuki gulped, unsure what to say. As much as she wanted to believe she came back in one piece, the pint sized Director had a point.

Mashiro smiled small, mentally waving off what she had just said. "Perhaps, in the midst of all that power, Fujino-san had been wishing for something. Perhaps you were too. Perhaps it's possible for a wish to be granted."

"A wish?"

The smaller girl reached for her tea again. "What was your wish, Kuga-san? Maybe, that is what you should figure out first."

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This chapter is a bit boring and a drag but I felt that it's crucial in its own way. I did say in chapter 1 that this story would only pick up pace from chapter 3 or 4. So forgive me for this lack of interesting events chapter and please wait for the next! Also, this fic is quite difficult to write for me so updates will probably be a bit slow. I am actually still writing chapter 4. Anyway, till next chap then!


	3. Smiles

This took a long time, I sincerely apologize if anyone had been left waiting. Was actually suffering from a block when I wrote this so when I finally recovered from it, I had to change a lot of things I wasn't satisfied with and that is why this took such a long time. Sadly to say though, next chap will probably also take a long time as I'm in the midst of trying to get another fic idea out of my head and concentrate on this one. Anyway, enough of my ramblings, go ahead and read. And also, thanks a lot for all the support.

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**Chapter 3: Smiles**

_My wish…_

_What is my wish?_

"Natsuki"

Natsuki blinked, before focusing on the voice which had called her name. It came from Mai, who was seated opposite of her. Mikoto wasn't by her side, but Natsuki didn't bother asking for the whereabouts. She presumed Mai forced her roommate to stay in until her injuries healed.

"You didn't hear anything I said, did you?" Mai asked.

Natsuki looked down. It's true. "Sorry"

Mai too, looked down. She leaned back slightly. "You are thinking about kaichou-san, right?"

It wasn't really a question because Mai already knew she's right. More like a statement that ended with a question mark. Natsuki turned away, admitting wordlessly.

"It's been a week"

Natsuki kept up the silence, sounding only a light grunt to show she was indeed listening. She knew that Mai was just trying to help, trying to say something, anything to ease her mind but the approach was just wrong. She was sure Mai would've noticed it by now. So what it if has been a week? Even if it was a month or a year, there's no telling that things would change. There's no telling that things would get better. There's no telling that Shizuru would remember.

"Natsuki,"

She could hear it in Mai's voice. It had been noticed.

"What did the Director say?"

Natsuki frowned, sighing. "What did the Director say? A lot of things but to get to the point, there is a lot of power involved in mine and Shizuru's resurrection and either of us made a wish."

"A…wish?"

'_How sure are you nothing did?'_

"Naa, Mai," her voice suddenly frantic. "Did I forget anything?"

"Eh?"

"Have I forgotten anybody? Anything?"

"Wh-What?"

"Have I?"

The look in Natsuki's eyes was almost pleading. Mai smiled reassuringly. "I don't think so."

Natsuki visibly relaxed. "Really?"

"In the first place you don't really have many friends Natsuki, so it's hard to tell. The one who knows you best is well...kaichou-san but...," Mai stopped, not knowing how to continue. She sighed. "I don't see you ignoring anybody who seems to know you, and as for things, I don't really know about you but you remember your mother, First District and all that, right?"

Natsuki nodded. "But you'll tell me if I have right?"

This time Mai nodded. "I'm not like you Natsuki"

At that sentence Natsuki stared at Mai, but not because she didn't understand. It was because she did. She turned away.

"I'm not criticizing you. But, it's just that, what exactly are you planning to do from here? At your request, no one has said a word to her but neither have you. At this rate…," Mai trailed off, staring intently at Natsuki.

Natsuki's brows furrowed. "At this rate what?"

_I'm going to end up with nothing?_

Mai folded her arms. Her eyes had lit up, as though suddenly realizing something. "Natsuki, strictly speaking, isn't this condition in favor of you?"

Green eyes turned to look at the orange haired girl. "What?"

"You weren't ready for kaichou-san feelings but you treasure her as an important friend. Now, she doesn't remember you so if you start anew with her, then you can remain friends the way you want," Mai explained.

Natsuki swallowed. "The way…I want?"

_Was this my wish?_

"It's either that, or you tell her the truth. You know if you keep up this stubbornness to do nothing, that's exactly what you'll get. Nothing." Mai said, saw the other stiffen and stood up. "I'm worried about Mikoto. I'm going to go check on her."

Natsuki looked up at Mai, startled by the sudden decision to retreat from the conversation. At least, that was how she saw it. However, she didn't feel the need to say anything.

"Think carefully what you want Natsuki. It doesn't just concern you."

--

'_It doesn't just concern you'_

She knew that of course. It concerned Shizuru as well. But at this point, Shizuru doesn't even know who she is. So even if it ends with nothing at all, would it matter? It couldn't possibly concern someone who is oblivious to her existence. But yes, it mattered. To her at least. She wasn't blind and she wasn't stupid. Right now, Shizuru is living in a different world. A world that where she wasn't a factor. But her world hasn't changed. Shizuru is still a factor to her. And she couldn't accept the idea of just walking away from everything that their relationship meant to her. Does that mean she had to re-establish contact?

This occurrence, Shizuru losing memories of her, had been something either of them had wished for on a subconscious level. So would it go against Shizuru's wishes if she did indeed re-establish contact between them? Had Shizuru meant for all this to happen? Was cutting her off Shizuru's motive? Did Shizuru think this was the best course of action, burdened by the guilt of the things she had done during the festival? She knew she wouldn't get answers to those questions but it didn't stop her wondering. It seemed the only thing she could do now. Because she hadn't figured out what she wanted to do. Because she hadn't figured out what she wanted.

A band of pressure spread across her stomach, halting her train of thoughts. She looked down, stepping back to see what it was. A yellow line, taped across the width of the corridor. She looked at the yellow line in complete confusion as to what it was doing there before also looking around and realizing where she was. She immediately recognized the corridor. Further down would be the Student Council room. Or whatever that is left of it. She hadn't been back there since that day. She turned around to walk back the other way. She had no idea how she ended up here in the first place. This wasn't where she was headed for. Hell, she didn't know where she was headed for. She was just…walking. Had her body walked all the way here out of habit? It isn't impossible.

She stopped, having taken two steps. She turned and eyed the yellow line once more. She approached and slipped under to the other side. A sudden weight bore down on her chest, but she ignored it and walked down the corridor. This routine felt so natural it almost feels normal. But she knows it isn't. And the biggest noticeable difference was right in front of her. The Student Council room had been deprived of its walls, ceiling and half its floor. Needless to say, the door didn't exist anymore, and slightly on the right of where it should've been is a huge gaping hole on the floor. But despite the damage, she still felt an unnatural comfort at being here. There was only one element left to make this perfect. And that element was the one that changed the most.

She turned into the room, half expecting to see Shizuru there but she knew it wouldn't be so. School had just been re-opened two days ago and both the Student Council and the Executives have been busy handling school affairs from the aftermath of the festival. The Student Council even had a new room already and there was now nothing tying the kaichou to this room. So yes, she knew Shizuru wouldn't be there. But at the back of her mind, she wished. She was surprised to see the desk exactly where it was meant to be. She was even more surprised to see the person sitting behind it, eyes closed, arms folded on the table. The expression the person wore was calm and thoughtful. Natsuki froze, not believing the sight presented in front of her. Here was the Student Council room, damaged and ruined. And there she was, sitting there as though nothing had changed.

Shizuru…

She didn't realize she voiced the name until those eyes opened and turned. Words left her as she stared into those deep bottomless crimson eyes. Those eyes that held no emotion, slowly narrowing to surprise. Somebody blinked, breaking the contact, but she didn't know who. Shizuru pushed back, as though to stand up but remained seated. She could almost see Shizuru smile and call her name. But that must've been her imagination.

"This section has been closed off"

Reality is harsh. And cruel.

"I'm sure you saw the yellow line?"

She knew, she was reminded every night that Shizuru no longer knew who she was. She knew, but she had not prepared for this. The blank look. The almost monotonous voice. The face that didn't smile. She bit her lower lip and stepped back, resisting the urge to just walk away. What would it matter to Shizuru anyway? In those eyes, she must be just another student.

"Ye-Yes. I'm sorry," she muttered, before quickly heading away.

"Wait"

Natsuki stopped. She wanted to pretend she didn't hear it and keep walking but as soon as that voice rang out, her body automatically followed the words like a command. She slowly turned her head to look at Shizuru, now standing.

"Please watch your step," Shizuru said, lips curving upwards.

Natsuki's eyes widened at the smile. It was a real smile, not her imagination but now she actually wished it was. Without replying, she marched away from the room. She didn't break her pace even as she approached the yellow line. She slipped under it and continued in. What finally forced her to stop was the end of the hallway. She turned around. She must've missed the stairs. She relaxed, leaning on the wall. That smile, she had seen it before. But that wasn't the problem. Shizuru had never directed that smile to her before. And for good reason.

_Fake smile…_


	4. Fools

Okay, this took a lot longer than I expected. It was suppose to be up yesterday or the day before but let's just say that didn't happen. My apologies. And although I worked so long on it, I didn't like the way I ended it. **I have an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT to make here.** After this chap, I'm putting this story into 3 weeks to a month hiatus because I need time to restructure some of the future events because I added twists. Ahaha, stupid me. Again, my apologies. I might be back before but definitely not after. Anyway, enjoy this chapter and I'll be seeing you soon.

To** Jyou **my dear friend, let's see if you can figure out what was the twist I added. And question, have you watched Blue Drop yet?

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**Chapter 4: Fools**

_Wake up._

She stood up and eyed the chestnut colored hair girl still kneeling on the floor. The other looked around, seemingly oblivious to her presence.

"Shizuru," she heard herself call. The events before their deaths flashed in her head. The kiss she gave the other. The words she said.

The chestnut colored hair girl snapped up at the sound of her name. She turned to look up at the caller, confusion clear in her eyes.

_Wake up._

Shizuru stood up slowly and stepped back, creating a distance. She was puzzled.

"Shizuru?" she heard herself call again.

_Wake up!_

"I'm sorry," an apologetic smile, "but," a pause. "Who are-"

_WAKE UP!_

Natski's eyes flashed open, staring straight at the dull ceiling above her. Almost like a routine, she took a deep breath before relaxing her tense limbs. How many times had it been already? She pushed herself upright, sweeping her hair back in the process. She'd beaten the dream today. While she realized over time that she couldn't stop the dream from recurring every night, she did find that she forcibly wake herself from it. Perhaps the dram couldn't be helped, but she hated having to relive those three words every night.

She glanced at her clock and marveled at the time it showed. Today it seems the dream struck her a bit later than it usually did. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, heading straight for the bathroom. She knew from every other time she was awaken by the dream that she would never fall back asleep so she didn't bother trying. If anything, it just made her feel lethargic for the rest of the day. She sighed as the bathroom door came to a close. It would be record time today, going to school two hours early. Though she didn't think that she'd ever be late to school living this close to it. Which puzzled her to no end how dorm students could be late. Did they sleep in that extra five turned ten turned fifteen minutes because they knew school is so close? She hadn't a chance to experiment for herself. So far, the dream always woke her well before her alarm clock even had a chance to ring and the dream had been with her since she moved into the dorm.

After the festival's end, she had returned to her apartment, and found it wrecked. The webs from Nao's Child still hung from corner to corner. And she found out the hard way that they still had binding properties. She got stuck five times in an attempt to gauge the full damage to her apartment. Broken windows, broken furniture and web hanging around waiting for her to walk right into them. She could live with that. After clearing her bedroom at least, she spent a few nights there but with the offer of a dorm room poking at her conscience and the miserable state of her apartment, she finally gave in and bunked into the dorms. There was not a single yen she could spend in restoring her apartment after all. It was all channeled to a much more 'noble' reason. Something she truly couldn't live without. Her bike. Riding was a release to her from her troubles and stress. And stress was something constantly around her these days.

She hadn't seen Shizuru since the other day, save occasional glimpses around the school. But she never did seek the older girl out. Seeing how their last encounter went, even though that was accidental, she didn't think anyone could blame her. She was afraid, probably. Afraid to face the change in Shizuru. Afraid of the Shizuru who no longer knew her. Yes, she was running away. She realized that, but it didn't change anything. There was once that she had came upon Shizuru in a hallway, with Suzushiro and Yukino behind her, no doubt running some Student Council chore. At talking distance their eyes had met for the shortest of a moment and then…nothing. Shizuru turned away and kept walking, and she was left to face the stares of the other two. Perhaps that is what she's scared of the most. That there's completely nothing there.

Natsuki closed her room door and locked it. Sliding the key into her pocket she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed out. The cold morning air stopped her in her tracks a while but she quickly collected herself. The sun had yet to rise but there was already more than enough light to see everything clearly. Though even if it was dark, she didn't think she'd have any problems. She was used to lurking around in the dark. Her eyes scanned her immediate surroundings and she noted that there was not a single soul besides her. She grimaced. While she knew she was-very- early, she didn't think there wouldn't be anyone around. Oh, who was she kidding? Which idiot would give up their precious sleep to come to school two hours early? She had to kill time somehow. She considered going riding and while she was at it, grab a bite to eat. The consideration quickly became a decision as there was nothing else she could possibly do and she briskly walked towards her bike's hideout.

She suddenly realized that she was walking pass the church and stopped. She stared at the almost completely repaired building, the hand carrying her bag over her shoulder falling to her side. She gulped, unsure why it transfixed her so. It was then that out of nowhere, memories flooded her and she shut her eyes, blocking them out. After a while, she opened them again, and stared at the church still. Why were these scenes being shown to her again and again? Was there something she missed? Were they telling her something? She steeled herself and took a step towards the church.

"Kuga"

That voice. She turned. "Nao"

"Aren't you up early?"

Natsuki eyed the redhead, standing at a distance, also dressed in the school uniform. She had a I'm-not-really-bothered-what-you-do-I-just-feel-like-mocking-you expression on her face. Natsuki's eyebrow twitched.

"Speak for yourself," Natsuki sneered.

The comment seemed to spark genuine interest in the younger girl. She raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? I just got back."

"Just got back? Out all night again?" Natsuki asked, shooting Nao a look.

Nao smirked. "Of course. This," she motioned to the church, "will be my prison once the repairs are finished. I have to enjoy my freedom while I have it."

Natsuki turned back to the church. She had heard the news of Sister taking Nao under her wing. So it was true.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Nao asked, crossing her arms. "The place of your second life really that special to you?"

Her eyebrow twitched again.

_Second life?_

"Mah, it's not like I know what it feels like anyway. It didn't happen to me," Nao said, who now also looked at the church. But when no reply came from the other, she narrowed her eyes to Natsuki. "You're unusually quiet. Too early in the morning for your brain to function?" Natsuki kept silent still, causing Nao to stare straight at her, slightly annoyed. But noticing Natsuki's fixed gaze at the church, she grinned. "Something troubling you, Kuga?" She brought her hand up to her chin, as though in deep thought. "Ah, could if be Fujino?"

Natsuki's eyebrow twitched and she glared at Nao. "Shut up! That's none of your business!"

Nao only grinned wider. "Strike" She sashayed her way over to Natsuki but kept a comfortable distance. "So the pet is lost without the master?"

"What do you mean?" Natsuki demanded, eyebrows knitting together.

"Why aren't you telling her anything?" Nao asked instead.

She had been ready to retort to any smart comments that the redhead would make but the question completely caught her off guard. She stopped, before looking down. She felt Nao's eyes on her and she took a deep breath before looking up again. "Because this was her wish. Or mine, I don't know."

"Nonsense. Blaming it on those wishes crap. Do you really believe that kid?" Nao asked.

Natsuki looked on, surprised. "Why would she lie?"

Nao sighed. "Whatever it is, both you and Fujino are cowards. I just don't know who the bigger one is," and shot Natsuki a knowing look.

The blue head's brows knitted once again. "This doesn't concern you anyway. Why do you care?"

"Doesn't concern me? Aren't you selfish?" Nao stated, ignoring Natsuki's puzzled looks. "I've always wanted to give Fujino a piece of my mind about all the things she said to me and what she did to mama but, this happens and now you don't exist in her memory. If you don't exist, why were we fighting?" Nao stopped, as if wanting Natsuki to answer. "But on the other hand," she noticed a thin, long branch on the ground and picked it up. "Since you're not going to do anything, you wouldn't mind if I used this situation to my advantage, would you?"

Natsuki fixed her gaze on Nao. She had a bad feeling about this. "What do you mean?"

"I don't even want to try guessing in Fujino's head what was the reason she fought me, but it certainly wasn't you. Taking that into consideration, since it's all over now, she doesn't have a reason to hate me or be wary of me. So, if I offer her an olive branch," she thrust the branch at Natsuki, causing Natsuki to flinch although it didn't touch anything. The grin came to her face again. "She doesn't have a reason to not accept, right?"

Natsuki gulped, staring at the other end of the branch right in front of her face. She looked back at Nao. "Why would you do that?"

Nao retracted the branch with almost amusement, but quickly replaced it with a leer. "I don't know if you're really that dense or you're just trying to annoy me," she said but didn't allow Natsuki to retort. "I despise Fujino but, you're the living proof that knowing Fujino has certain…benefits. We're similar…you said that yourself so surely, Fujino would find me, like you, interesting? Now that I know her orientation, it shouldn't be too difficult for me, don't you think so?"

"Orientation…?" Natsuki found her jaw and knuckles tightening as the meaning sank in. "Nao, you tramp! You wouldn't dare!"

Not intimidated one bit, Nao merely widened that unpleasant smile. "It doesn't take a lot to piss you off, does it? Look at me properly and tell me you really believe that. There are only so many things that I don't dare to do. And pissing you off is not one of them."

"Don't use her to piss me off," Natsukki spat through gritted teeth.

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I just said she's a beneficial connection. I don't know why that pisses you off," Nao said.

"Approaching her for such selfish reasons, you think I'm going to stand back and watch?" Natsuki barked.

"That's what you've been doing all these time anyway," Nao said. "She was a beneficial connection to you too wasn't she? What's our difference?"

"Of course it's different!" Natsuki snapped. "Our friendship didn't start based on such selfish reasons!"

Nao's expression darkened and she whirled away. "Are you stupid or what? All human relations start based on selfish reasons. You should know that! Love too…I love you, I want to be with you forever…isn't that selfish?"

Natsuki blinked, taken aback. She felt all her anger dissipating as Nao glared accusingly at her. "Nao…"

At her name Nao relaxed, looking away once before walking pass Natsuki. "That's enough. I'm going to sleep. Talking to you is making me sick."

Natsuki watched as the redhead passed her to head for the dorms. She didn't stop the action, nor did she have any intention to. Never once had they managed to converse like civilized people and clearly this time suffered the same fate. There was no use in trying to be kind. It would achieve nothing by the end of the day. Taking one last look at the church, she turned and walked the other way.

--

Nao sighed in relief as the dorms came into sight. It's been a long night, and morning too, there was nothing else she wanted than to sleep. School wasn't going to see her face again today, but it's not like she cares. Speaking of caring, why did she even bother to engage in a conversation with that blue haired idiot? It's nothing but a waste of time. It seems that too many all nighters were affecting her badly. Probably time to give it a rest. She heard a noise as she approached the steps and looked up. Another student was exiting the dorms. No, wrong. Not just another student.

If she had to name the most recognizable students in the school, she'd name these three. The seitokaichou, her fukukaichou and the Executive Director. Though only because those three wore different uniforms than everyone else in school. But right now, she was in front of the girl's dormitory, which kicks the fukukaichou out of the list. And while she hadn't seen it for herself, she heard that the Executive Director is filthy rich and lives in a mansion. That leaves the seitokaichou. She didn't think that the kaichou is so poverty stricken to be living in the dorms but considering the dialect in which that woman speaks, she deduced it's probably the distance. Too far away from home.

"And I thought Kuga was the only one stupid enough to get up this early," Nao mumbled to herself, stopping at the base of the steps, staring at Shizuru at the top. "Stupidity is contagious. Who infected who?"

Their eyes met, and Nao unconsciously grounded her legs into the ground. She hid that reaction by quickly thrusting her right hand at Shizuru's face and with it, the branch that she had just noticed moment ago she was still holding. Shizuru was undeterred whatsoever; she merely looked at the branch questioningly.

"Yuuki-san?" Shizuru looked back at Nao. "This is?"

Nao lowered her hand slightly. "Olive branch"

Shizuru's eyes seem to light up in amusement before they resigned themselves to their unreadable selves. A smile pulled at her lips and her hand came up and reached for the branch. Nao grinned.

--

She let the wind gently caress her face as she stood there with her eyes closed, uncaring if anybody was looking at her, uncaring if they wondered what she was doing. It didn't matter as long as she knew what she was doing. Which was what? Pointless stuff, really, standing here. What was she hoping to achieve? She didn't want to give up but was this the best she could do? Walk down memory lane? Memories that only she had? She opened her eyes and stared at the hundreds of flowers that seemingly stared back at her. Flowers that were withering and would die soon. Winter was coming.

She always thought she had a lot of guts. She had done a lot of things that other girls her age would never even dream of. Then why couldn't she do anything about this? She reasoned that because communication was never her forte. Even back then, she was the one who was approached. Approached because she had in mind to kill an innocent flower. And the reason for that action was because she thought it unfair that some things were so simple and others complicated. This flower had everything it needed to survive. It just needed to feed on its surroundings, grow and when the time came, bloom and then, die. A simple, carefree, thought out life. So unlike hers.

Her hand reached out to a single flower. Maybe if she did this, those same events would happen again, like déjà vu. She gulped, focusing her vision only at that single flower. Was she being stupid? Well, she never prided herself a genius either. Her fingers curled around the flower. She took a breath. If anything was going to happen, it should be around now. She felt a presence, and a foreign hand grabbed her wrist before she could react. She froze; her downwards cast eyes catching sight of the beige sleeve and the black skirt.

_No way…_

"You shouldn't so that. Beautiful flowers are to be loved. Because it's trying its best to bloom during its short life."

Natsuki looked up and was immediately greeted by a pair of crimson eyes.

_No way…_

"Shizuru," escaped her lips before she could help it. She quickly rammed her mouth shut. Once again, she called Shizuru's name although now, in Shizuru's eyes at least, they are strangers.

Shizuru seemed not to mind, and merely smiled. Genuine, Natsuki noted. She relaxed.

_Was it coincidence? Those were the exact same words…_

Shizuru released Natsuki's hand and in response Natsuki pulled it back from the flower. Natsuki looked at the flower, its withering petals swayed with the wind, as though showing gratitude for granted life. She lowered her eyes with shame, even though she never meant to crush it. She merely feigned the action because she hoped that 'she' would appear. So that 'she' would stop her. And 'she' did. She had been approached again. Natsuki turned back to Shizuru. 'She' is really here.

"It's not blooming," Natsuki said as she glanced at the flower. Her hand reached out to it cautiously. "It's dying, because winter is coming."

Shizuru widened her smile. "That's true. But would you at least let it die gracefully?"

"Die…gracefully?"

Shizuru turned to the flower, reaching towards it as well. "It's not its time yet" Her finger lightly touched the petal and watching the proceedings, Natsuki felt an urge well up in her chest. She retracted her hand and looked away. Eyeing Natsuki, Shizuru did the same. "Kuga-san, am I right?"

Natsuki's head came up in attention.

_Kuga…san? The first time we met…_

'_Natsuki…that's a nice name'_

_And now…Kuga-san? You're cruel, Shizuru_

"Natsuki"

Shizuru blinked.

Natsuki turned to face Shizuru fully. "Natsuki is fine"

Shizuru smiled. "Natsuki then,"

Natsuki froze as her name passed Shizuru's lips. She hadn't heard that voice say her name for such a long time she didn't realize how much she missed it.

"I suppose I don't have to ask Natsuki to call me my name. Natsuki seems already very familiar with it," Shizuru added.

Natsuki gasped, immediately feeling like she should hit herself with a stick. "I...sorry-"

"Did I ever say I minded it?" Shizuru said, cutting Natsuki off. Natsuki stared, then shook her head. Shizuru looked back at the flower. "What has the flower done to Natsuki that Natsuki wants to kill it?"

"Eh? That-That wasn't what I was doing," Natsuki answered. "It's just…," she looked at Shizuru, "those words that you said to me, someone once said those exact words and…I'm reflecting on them."

"Who is that person?" Shizuru asked.

_You_

Natsuki shifted her gaze away. "That person…is a frie-"

_Friend?_

"An important person," Natsuki corrected. "A very important person"

Shizuru kept silent, and Natsuki found herself holding her breath. "Where is that person now?"

"Where?" Natsuki asked, surprised. "Why would you ask where?"

Shizuru swept some of her hair that had made it to her face back behind her ear. "Because if that person is here, Natsuki should be reflecting with that person and not alone."

It made sense.

_You are here. I am reflecting with you but, I am reflecting alone…_

Natsuki looked away, towards the end of the flower garden. "That person…is somewhere far away. Somewhere…I cannot go."

The silence was comforting but at the same time, excruciating.

"I'm sure," Shizuru paused, "that person will come back."

Natsuki's eyes found their way back to Shizuru. "Why?"

Shizuru smiled, still genuine. "Natsuki is here, wishing for it and waiting for it. That person would be a fool to ignore this."

"A fool?" Natsuki smiled despite herself, looking into Shizuru's eyes. "She is. She's such a baka." Her eyes explored Shizuru's form, and for the first time she noticed that Shizuru's right palm was bandaged. It wasn't there yesterday. She took a step back. "Your hand, what happened?"

Shizuru seemed startled and lifted her injured hand. "Ah, this?" She looked at her hand intently, a sad, almost guilt ridden smile taking over her lips. "I don't know."

Natsuki was puzzled. Both by the smile and the answer. "You…don't know?"

Shizuru looked back at Natsuki, the sad smile quickly being replaced with another. "I'm sorry, please excuse me." She turned to walk away before Natsuki could say anything in return.

Natsuki watched Shizuru's back walking away, not looking back even once. Her hand reached out to stop Shizuru, but then she stopped herself after she realized that she didn't know what to say. Why did Shizuru leave so suddenly? And that sad, guilt ridden smile…what happened? It almost seemed like Shizuru left because she didn't want to answer. But she didn't hold on to that thought. Shizuru was out of view now, and Natsuki resigned herself to being alone once again.

"Baka…"


	5. Thoughts

I'm back finally. Sorry to keep anyone waiting. Wah, that's been a long 3 weeks break. Instead of writing I had actually been procrastinating a lot. But no worries, this story is officially off hiatus but that's not to say updates will be speedy either. Well then, enjoy the chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Thoughts**

The warm rays of the setting sun bathed her form as she walked down the corridor. It cast a long shadow on the wall and illuminated her hair with an almost reddish hue. She yawned, turning at the staircase to go down. She decided then, that she definitely has to go riding tonight. Too much tension had been building inside her lately. The only reason she attended after school classes was to avoid repeating a year but even though she wasn't the only in the classroom, the number of students is significantly less than a normal class and therefore, it makes it very easy for teachers to notice if she wasn't paying attention or worse, sleeping. She just managed an entire History lesson awake. So yes, she's definitely treating herself by going riding.

She flexed her muscles as she reached the bottom of the stairs and continued walking down another corridor, heading for the dorms. A hot, invigorating shower before the ride would be good. After all, the weather was slowly but surely, becoming colder. And she didn't like the cold. She preferred warmer days. It made her more comfortable compared to the cold. She wondered if it had anything to do with her name, as she did like summer best. But if she used that presumption, then Suzushiro must like spring. But she didn't know that. Could it be the time of her birth? If so, then Shizuru must like winter. Again, she didn't know that. In fact, she winced at the not so startling revelation; she didn't know much about Shizuru at all. They had been friends for four years, a considerably long time but there seems to be completely no depth in their friendship, on her part at least.

She is not one to pry, if Shizuru told her anything it was said on Shizuru's own accord. That is, if Shizuru told her anything. The problem is, Shizuru rarely or never spoke about herself. Putting prying aside, she never even asked any general questions about Shizuru. Shizuru's background? Interests? Other than drinking tea…if anyone asked her right now, she could only state Shizuru's name, birthday-which she found out by accident anyway, from the amount of present Shizuru received on that particular day- and that Shizuru loved her tea. While the basis of their friendship was that each didn't concern themselves with the other's personal affairs, she was willing to bet her life that Shizuru knew a hell of a lot more about her than she did about Shizuru. It's not that she wasn't interested……maybe…the only thing that she was interested in before was avenging her mother's death. So perhaps Nao was right, she did use Shizuru as a beneficial connection.

Her fingers curled into a ball of frustration but she snapped out of it when a familiar sensation spread across her stomach. A familiar pressure. She felt this before, and she grew anxious as she stepped back. She found herself staring at the yellow line, and it didn't surprise her one bit. Taped across the width of the corridor, it hung proud of its existence there, to prevent students from further walking into the danger zone that was ahead. And not only that, she swore that it was mocking her presence. 'Ah, you walked all the way here without realizing it again? What a poor child you are.' She immediately slipped under it with no hesitation, refusing to stare down the inanimate object any longer. Yeah she unconsciously walked all the way her again, so what? One part of her was glad. Because she wouldn't consciously do so. And since she's already here, she might as well…keep going.

She didn't know what exactly she expected to find, but her legs wouldn't stop walking. Would Shizuru be there again? She didn't even know what Shizuru was doing there before. Did she want Shizuru to be there? She didn't think she needed to answer that question. What's the joy of looking at an empty room? She approached the doorway-or where it should've been- slowly, ears puckered to pick up any signs of life from within the room. There were none. But on the other hand, she didn't think that if Shizuru was indeed inside, she'd be banging the chairs and tables to make her presence known either. She took a deep breath and turned in. The first thing she noticed was the sun's ray completely enveloping her and then, a figure, standing by the only remaining glassless window of the room, back to her. The back was enough to tell her who it was though.

The wind blew lightly at the chestnut colored hair and suddenly she felt a pang of nostalgia. She had seen this scene before. Where? Here, of course. When? She rattled her brain, and it came to her. This scene, was exactly as that one day she fell asleep in this room after having used Shizuru's computer. She awoke to find Shizuru standing by the window. As if sensing she woke, Shizuru turned, as she did now, hauntingly in the exact same manner. Left hand holding her hair back before both hands went to her back, and she leaned against the wall. Those blood crimson eyes locked with her emerald green ones, and she found herself unable to look away.

"Natsuki"

She snapped up, realizing her name had been called. She tore her eyes away from Shizuru's, and focused on Shizuru's whole form instead. Those eyes make her feel trapped. Shizuru smiled.

"I thought I told Natsuki before that this section has been closed off," Shizuru started.

That smile, that ambiguously wicked yet charming smile, rendered her completely speechless. She stood there, staring dumbfounded at Shizuru. What was she to say? She could not think of any good excuses to being there. "I…," should she apologize and leave? Again? She didn't want to. "I…"

"Natsuki knew that, right?" Shizuru continued. "Natsuki saw the yellow line yet knowingly slipped pass it to come here. Why? This is not the first time. Does this room hold some significance to Natsuki?"

Her mouth opened, but no words came. She closed them.

_Significance? Yes, it does_

"Forgive me,"

"Eh?"

"If I sound like I'm interrogating," Shizuru said. "If Natsuki doesn't tell anyone I'm here, then I'll let this pass."

She blinked, the sudden realization hitting her like a rock to her face. 'This section is closed off' would obviously and definitely apply to Shizuru as well. She'd just allowed herself to be treated like the only guilty party here. She frowned at Shizuru.

Shizuru chuckled, noticing the frown. "If Natsuki isn't too busy, please come in."

Though surprised at the invitation, she did exactly that. Her steps were wary, partially because of all the cracks on the floor and the reality that just a few steps to her left, there is no floor and partially because, she looked at Shizuru. She stopped at a comfortable distance and eyed Shizuru's body language which almost seems to say 'come closer' although Shizuru hasn't moved at all.

She glanced at the desk. "Am I bothering you?" If it was anyone else, she didn't think she'd care even if she is.

Shizuru raised an eyebrow, before her expression relaxed into a smile. "No, quite the opposite. I was happy to see Natsuki."

Natsuki turned to Shizuru, but Shizuru's face was turned away. Instead, she looked around the room, for the first time really perceiving the extent of the damage. Everything seemed like they could collapse without warning. Even the wall Shizuru was leaning on. "Why do you keep coming here?"

Shizuru looked back at Natsuki. An unreadable expression showed. "Natsuki was a HiME too, isn't that right?"

Her eyes widened. "Eh?" That was the first time she heard Shizuru mention about HiME's. "Ye-Yea"

Shizuru dropped her gaze to the empty space where the other half of the floor should have been. "The damage to this room was caused by me when I summoned Kiyohime, my Child."

_Not you alone…_

"That is why?" Guilt for having caused the 'death' of the room?

Shizuru looked up, but not at her. She seemed to be thinking of something, and Natsuki couldn't even begin to guess what it was. Finally, she spoke. "After the festival, I kept feeling like there's something missing-"

_Something…missing?_

"-but I don't know what it is. I feel better when I come here." Shizuru turned to Natsuki, and offered a small smile. "What about Natsuki? Why does Natsuki come here?"

Her mouth snapped shut, before she looked down, unable to answer.

_Something…missing…_

She heard Shizuru shifting, but still did not answer.

"It's okay if Natsuki doesn't want to tell me. We al have our secrets," Shizuru said.

She rolled her eyes at Shizuru. "Do you?"

A fleeting smile, and Shizuru turned away, leaving the question unanswered. Natsuki decided not to push it. She walked closer to Shizuru, and stood beside her at the window, looking out at the sun. She felt Shizuru smile, and she relaxed. It was becoming increasingly hard not to, considering the atmosphere. She closed her eyes. Shizuru once stood here, as she is now. What was she thinking? What is she thinking? Natsuki couldn't figure. This person standing next to her is Shizuru, but at the same time not. If she told the truth, would Shizuru once again become who she knew? Did she even want that? She opened her eyes, looking at the scenery that Shizuru once beheld, and tried to imagine what Shizuru could've been thinking of.

"Natsuki is having that far away look again, like that day in the flower garden," Shizuru said, catching Natsuki's attention. "Is Natsuki thinking about that person?"

Startled, she turned to Shizuru. She found herself nodding before sheepishly looking out of the window again. "She once stood here, like you just now," she paused. "I wonder what she was thinking about."

Shizuru closed her eyes, taking a silent deep breath before opening them again, looking away at nothing in particular. "Perhaps she was thinking of Natsuki."

Natsuki froze. "Why…do you think so?"

"Because Natsuki is in her position now, thinking of her"

It was times like this that Natsuki couldn't help feeling that Shizuru never had forgotten her. She was just using this pretense so that she could tell Natsuki all the things that she couldn't say directly before. It wasn't impossible. Shizuru is capable of such a thing. If she wanted, she could fool the whole world. But then Shizuru would turn to her, and she would catch the look in those eyes. She knew then that it's true. It wasn't a lie. Shizuru truly have forgotten her. Perhaps this is all that is left of her inside Shizuru.

_So you were thinking of me, Shizuru?_

The ends of her mouth curved upwards ever so slightly. Maybe she didn't need to go riding after all.

* * *

I feel a need to state this although it should be noticeable but ah, I'll say it anyway. There is no definite amount of time in between chapters. It may be days, a week, the next day or even few hours. If there is a definite time span, I'll mention it within the chap but if there isn't, you're free to make your own assumption on how much time has passed. And probably Shizuru and Natsuki did interact in between also. Up to your imagination. I can't be writing day by day cause that'll take forever.

By the way, this is just a question that won't change how I end this story anyway but I'm just curious, do you guys think Shizuru should regain her memories? Do tell me okay?


	6. Thanks

Firstly, this chap took a while, I'm sorry. Was slacking off a lot. Secondly, I want to thank everyone for giving their opinion on whether Shizuru should regain her memory. I think it's obvious that most of you want Shizuru to regain her memory, some don't mind either way and one person wanted Shizuru not to. But as I said before, it won't change how I decide to end it but I might just change how I get there. Another thing, loads of appreciation to those who went out of their way to give reason to why you think Shizuru should/should not regain her memories. I was seriously enlightened by some things that you guys said. So anyway, next time you have an opinion, go all out!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Thanks**

Natsuki already knew what she'd see the moment she pass the two trees in front of her. After all, she was the one who put it there. But even so, her face still lit up like a kid getting a birthday present when she saw it, as though it wasn't there before. She immediately headed for it, casting away all jolly thoughts. It's been too long; she ran one hand down the length of its body, the other steadily holding the handle bar. Oh yes, she's finally going riding today, and nothing is going to stop her. While taking to Shizuru the other day did effectively relieve her of her tension, that isn't the purpose of her riding plans today. Riding was a second nature to her, so it goes to say that she just couldn't go on for too long without it. Unless she had no choice, of course.

Does that mean that even if Shizuru suddenly appeared out of nowhere and talked to her she would still insist on going riding despite that? Well, she'd think about it if it actually happens. Though, she thought it unlikely to impossible because she was already so deep into the bush. Why would Shizuru come all the way in here anyway? At least, the Shizuru of now wouldn't. She shook the thoughts out of her head. She'd accepted that Shizuru no longer has memories of her or concerning her and in that same sense; she couldn't keep brooding about everything that is different. Things that Shizuru once knew, but now doesn't. Used to say, but now doesn't. Used to do, but now doesn't. That's easier said than done though. The bush behind her rustled, and she immediately whirled around, startled and convinced she was seeing things upon catching sight of the perpetrator. Her eyes widened. Speak of the devil.

"Shi-Shizuru!"

The one bearing the name looked even more surprised than the one who called it. "Natsuki"

So she wasn't seeing things after all. Either that or she's hearing things as well. "Wh-What are you doing here?"

Shizuru stepped into the clearing, eyeing Natsuki's Ducati. She focused back on its owner before scanning her surroundings and looking back at Natsuki. "I was heading towards the gates but," she smiled. "Somehow I ended up here instead."

Natsuki blinked. "I-I see."

_I see? What the hell was that?_

"Is that Natsuki's?" Shizuru asked, eyeing the Ducati once again.

Natsuki followed Shizuru's gaze. She nodded. "Yeah"

"I didn't know Natsuki could ride," Shizuru said.

Natsuki looked back at Shizuru, unsure what to say. She caught sight of her helmet from the corner of her eyes. "You said…you were heading for the gates. Where are you going?"

Shizuru grinned. "Ara, does Natsuki want to give me a ride?"

Pink came to Natsuki's cheeks. Was her intention that obvious? She turned away. "That, that's fine."

Shizuru chuckled. "I'm just kidding. It seems like Natsuki was planning to go somewhere anyway. I don't want to trouble Natsuki."

"No, it's no trouble. I wasn't going anywhere, really. I'll give you a ride," Natsuki insisted, grabbing her helmet after making sure that the spare was hanging on the other handle bar. She walked up to Shizuru and pushed the helmet into Shizuru's hands before promptly walking back to her bike. "Let's go"

Shizuru stared after Natsuki a while, a smile coming to her face as she followed suit. Natsuki maneuvered the bike into position and swung her leg over, at the same time putting on her helmet. She looked over at Shizuru, who was coming towards the side.

"Thank you, Natsuki," Shizuru said. "I've never rode on one of these before."

_Yes you have_

Natsuki shifted her gaze downwards and her hands gripped the handlebars.

_Don't brood. Don't brood._

She took a deep breath before kicking the engine to life, exhaling her breath at the relaxing sound of the engine humming. She stiffened as she felt Shizuru climbing on, and held both her feet on the ground for balance. Once the movement stopped, Natsuki turned her head slightly towards Shizuru. "Hold on," but even as the words passed her lips Shizuru's hands were already circling her waist. She found herself holding her breath…only to have it forced out of her with an "Oof!" when the hands around her waist clamped down too tightly. They immediately released.

"I'm sorry," Shizuru quickly apologized. "My body moved on its own."

Natsuki coughed once, then twice, before looking at Shizuru.

_Your body moved on its own?_

"It's okay," Natsuki replied. Shizuru's hands settled comfortably at Natsuki's sides as he latter looked back ahead. She kicked up the stand and shut her visor before the sudden realization hit her. She hadn't the slightest idea where Shizuru wanted to go. And through her helmet, with its visor down and through Shizuru's helmet, with its visor down as well, she heard the unmistakable sound of Shizuru giggling.

--

The supermarket. She should've guessed. But no, it didn't cross her mind at all. Okay, that's that. It still doesn't explain why the hell was she following Shizuru all around the supermarket as Shizuru shopped? Oh right, because she offered to take Shizuru back as well so it's more convenient if they stuck together, was what she said anyway. Why don't she just go all the way and offer to carry Shizuru's grocery basket as well? Oh wait, she did. Only this time Shizuru insisted she's fine. Natsuki sighed, peeking at Shizuru at a distance in front of her looking at she-doesn't-know-what-and-doesn't-care on the shelves.

It wasn't something to be proud of, but she couldn't name the two types of vegetables in Shizuru's basket nor the fish. And that's why she will always fail her Cooking class. More importantly though, how can one even shop in a place like this? It's way too big. She swore that she'd be lost by now if she wasn't following Shizuru around. She has only ever entered the more humble convenience stores after all. Again, not something she was proud of. Her eyes spotted Shizuru turning around the corner and reluctantly she followed. Shizuru turned into another aisle and Natsuki slowly headed for it. She glanced around, found nothing interesting and focused back on her destination. She reached the aisle and turned in, suddenly catching a whiff of a familiar scent. Green tea. She used to catch this scent whenever she was very close to Shizuru, or rather when Shizuru came very close to her. Shizuru's signature scent, somehow. Which would mean…Natsuki's head snapped up in attention, and stopped all bodily movements. Shizuru stood unmoving there; she swore she was breathing down Shizuru's neck. She immediately backed up.

"Shizuru? What's wro-" the words trailed as she realized that Shizuru is looking, no, staring at a particular product on the shelf. She turned to look, wanting to know what it is that caught Shizuru's attention so completely. She recognized what it was in less than a second. There was no way she'd mistake this. Mayonnaise.

_Why……is she staring at mayonnaise?_

She gulped, suddenly feeling very anxious. She opened her mouth, and dared to ask. "Wh-Why are you staring at that?"

It almost seemed as though Shizuru didn't hear her but the older girl blinked, then turned to Natsuki, staring blanky, as though having just woken from a trance. "Why? I don't know. I don't like it."

Natsuki let Shizuru's answer register before looking down, glaring at the floor.

_What the hell was I hoping for?_

"But," Shizuru continued, voice soft. "Natsuki likes it, no?"

Emerald green eyes widened and shot up to look at Shizuru, whose gaze had returned to the mayo. "How…do you know that?"

Shizuru looked at Natsuki, amused. "Why is Natsuki so surprised? I've seen Natsuki adding it to your food in the cafeteria. It thought it cute, Natsuki always carrying a bottle of mayo around."

Natsuki stared at Shizuru a while before her gaze dropped. "You've…seen me adding it to my food?"

"Yes," Shizuru answered. "What was Natsuki thinking?"

Natsuki paused, slowly shaking her head. "No, it's nothing."

Shizuru eyed the slumped over Natsuki before she glanced at the contents of her basket. A slight frown appeared on her face. She walked up to Natsuki. "Let's go."

"Wha…?"

"I'm done here," Shizuru said, "So," she smiled. "Let's go."

Natsuki peeked into the basket. Though she's never shopped like this before, she had a feeling Shizuru wasn't really done. But looking at Shizuru's face, it somehow told her not to argue. "O-Okay"

To her surprise, Shizuru reached for her hand and pulled her along as she walked. Shades of red immediately came to Natsuki's cheeks as she stared at Shizuru's hand holding her own. Her mouth gaped and she pulled her hand back, staring in disbelief at Shizuru.

"Wh-What are you doing?! I-I can walk by myself!"

Shizuru stared at her intently, seemingly unfazed by the outburst. Natsuki found herself unconsciously recoiling.

"It really does suit Natsuki," Shizuru said.

"Wha-What does?" Natsuki asked, annoyed but intrigued.

Shizuru turned to face Natsuki fully. "Red, here," her hand came up and pointed at her own cheek.

Realizing Shizuru's meaning, she turned redder still. "Shizuru!" she hissed.

Shizuru chuckled heartily before turning and heading for the counter. Natsuki stood there a while to regain her calm, watching Shizuru's back. An uncontrollable smile pulled at her lips and she relented. She eyed the mayo from the corner of her eyes one last time before also walking towards the counter.

--

The bike came to a halt and the passenger dismounted. She took off her helmet, every single strand of her chestnut locks falling into place, before handing the helmet back to the rider. Natsuki cuts the engine and removes the key from the ignition before taking the helmet from Shizuru's hands and then taking off her own.

"Thank you so much for today, Natsuki," Shizuru said.

Natsuki dismounted and rolled her bike onto its centre stand she turned to Shizuru. "No problem. I insisted on it anyway."

The setting sun and their surroundings of trees and bushes made for very little light reaching the two. It was getting dark but even so neither moved from their respective positions facing each other. Natsuki simply didn't know what to say, but Shizuru, well, she didn't know what Shizuru was thinking either. Finally the latter stepped back, keeping her eyes on the former.

"It's getting late," Shizuru commented.

Natsuki glanced around her, noticing the lack of light. "Aah"

Shizuru turned, seemingly in preparation to go. "Natsuki"

The sudden calling of her name slightly startled her. "What is it?"

"Does Natsuki have anything to do after this?"

"No…why?" Natsuki asked.

Shizuru grinned. "Then can I book Natsuki for the night?"

Blood shot to her face before she could help it. "Wh-What?!"

_Book me for the night? What the hell does that mean?_

She was caught between feeling apprehensive and downright embarrassed. "What do you mean?" That came out sounding more like the latter.

Shizuru merely grinned wider. "If Natsuki keeps showing me that face I might get addicted to it."

How Shizuru could see with the lack of light that she was blushing, she had no idea. "Don't-Don't avoid the question!"

Shizuru laughed lightly. "Dinner. To thank Natsuki for today."

It caught her completely off guard. Natsuki blinked several times. She didn't expect this. "Dinner?"

"Yes," Shizuru replied and lifted the bag of groceries. "I'll cook."

Natsuki narrowed her eyes to the plastic bag Shizuru was holding up.

_Shizuru's cooking, huh? It's been a while…_

"Sure"

* * *

I have mixed feelings about this chap. I had this other idea for the supermarket scene actually and really wanted to use it but I'll probably get killed for it. And it would make the story longer. And more angsty. Ah well, as always, tell me what you think.


	7. Benefits

**This chap took such a long time because my brother didn't want to let me use the computer. And that is all I have to say for myself.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Benefits**

"Stupidity is contagious. I must be infected."

The redhead stood outside the doors of the dormitory, shoulders slumped over, not even trying to stifle a yawn that inevitably came. She stretched her arms and shoulders before she reached into her pocket to take out her cell phone. She grimaced when she saw the time. Usually she'd still be sleeping around this time. Even the sun was still sleeping. What the hell is she doing? At least the look on her roommate's face when she left the room was satisfying. But not worth it. Definitely not worth it. She heard the door open and turned. Not surprisingly, standing there was the very cause of her early hours who, quite obviously looked a lot more awake than she is.

"Good morning. It seems that Yuuki-san managed to wake up."

"All thanks to you," Nao sneered, but it didn't quite come out the way she wanted it to and she blamed it on the fact that she wasn't fully awake yet. "I don't know how you managed to make me do this."

The person in question chuckled, before looking at Nao again. "Shall we go?"

Nao watched the person walk down the stairs and followed. "Whatever you say" They passed the stairs and were soon on the path that would eventually lead them to school. Nao walked closer to the person but still remained respectfully behind. "By the way, aren't we on first names basis already?"

The other didn't stop walking, but turned her head slightly to look in amusement at Nao. She smiled. "Ah, you'll have to forgive me, Nao."

Nao smirked. "All forgiven, Shizuru"

--

Natsuki rolled her right shoulder as she walked down the hallway, feeling it to be a little stiff. There's probably another ten minutes till class starts, and she might as well wait it up in class. She came to school an hour early today, because of the same reason she has been coming to school early everyday since the HiME festival. The past 50 minutes had been spent with her Ducati. Wiping places that were otherwise spotless anyway, checking the gears, lights, suspension, tyres, anything to kill time. She resisted the urge to go riding though. She had a feeling she'd only come back after school ended. It was a bad habit. And she couldn't afford to gaily skip school as she liked anymore.

She stopped the rolling of her shoulders as her eyes landed on a certain door to a certain room up ahead. She slowed her pace but kept walking. It shouldn't surprise as much as it did because after all, she was the one who chose to use this route to class. It's the longest route, so it'll kill more time, was what she reasoned. And as long as se believed that, it's true. She stopped in front of the door and stared at the sign bearing its name. 'Student Council Room'. It was written messily on a piece of paper and stuck onto the door because after all, this room was only temporary. Repairs had already begun on the original and it would probably be good to go by next spring. At most.

She read the words again and again in her head. When she finally realized what she was doing though, standing there in the middle of the hallway re-reading words messily written on a piece of paper and stuck to a door, she tore her eyes away. She exhaled a heavy breath. It's not like she was expecting anything to happen anyway. She took a step, then another, then another. And then the door opened. Almost automatically, she froze. Her ears picked up the sounds of footsteps, its pattern indicating that someone came out. But she didn't turn to look.

"Thank you for your hard work"

That voice was faint, but Natsuki didn't need to think twice to determine who it belonged to. She would be able to distinguish it from every other student in this school. And she wouldn't bat an eyelid doing so. That voice was too distinct. Shizuru.

"You really enjoyed that, didn't you?"

Natsuki's eyes widened. Another voice. One that held just a little resentment. And one she also recognized. It may not be as distinct as Shizuru's, but she wouldn't mistake it. Nao. Why was Nao with Shizuru?

'…_you won't mind if I use this situation to my advantage, would you?'_

'_You're the living proof that knowing Fujino has certain…benefits'_

Natsuki turned around, just as the door closed with a thud. Sure enough, the redhead stood there, staring back at her. Two pairs of eyes of the same color but different shade locked, one filled with confusion and a bit anger, the other slightly intrigued but otherwise disinterested. Nao created a distance between herself and the door, but kept the contact of their eyes. Though it was quickly becoming boring and tiresome.

"Kuga"

"Nao"

The redhead narrowed her stare before sighing. "See you" She turned and began walking away.

In a moment Natsuki has cut in front of Nao and now stood blocking the redhead from further leaving. "Not so fast"

"What do you want?" Nao asked, annoyed.

"What were you doing in there?" Natsuki demanded.

"Ah, that," Nao said, glancing at the Student Council Room door. "I've been skipping too many classes the past few weeks and Aoi told me that some teachers are really getting into my back but our gracious kaichou-sama helped me out. It's amazing, all she had to do was open her mouth and suddenly I'm off the hook. So, to return the favor I'm helping out with some paperwork."

Natsuki's eyebrow twitched, as though Nao had just spoken to her with an alien language from Mars. "That wasn't what I was asking! What are you doing with Shizuru?!"

Nao poked her right little finger into her right ear, twisting it slightly. "Eh? Did I hear wrongly? I was pretty sure you asked what I was doing in there."

The blue head's brows knitted, and she grabbed the redhead's collar. "Nao!"

Immediately, a smirk grew across Nao's lips and her eyes took an unpleasant glint. "Didn't think I'd do it, did you? The olive branch" The smirk only grew wider when Natsuki didn't reply. "I see now how even the likes of you managed to become her close…friend."

Nao had purposely emphasized the word 'friend', and Natsuki heard it crystal clear. She tightened her grip of Nao's collar. "Cut the crap!"

"Calm down. There's no reason for you to be angry. She's not your property, is she?" Nao asked with a lop-sided grin. "I just want the benefits, not the bed. I'll leave that to you."

The sound of Nao's body crashing onto the floor mixed with the sound of the door gliding open, and for a moment Natsuki didn't know which to concentrate on. But upon catching sight of the person standing at the doorway, it suddenly wasn't an issue anymore. Her eyes darted to Nao, and then back.

"Natsuki"

She could hear the surprise, or was it shock? in that one calling of her name. "Shizuru"

Shizuru shifted her gaze onto Nao sprawled on the floor. "Nao"

Natsuki blinked.

_Nao?_

Nao, now on her elbows, looked up at Shizuru. "Shizuru"

Natsuki unconsciously flinched.

_Shizuru? First name basis…already?_

Shizuru looked back at Natsuki. "What's going on?"

Natsuki kept silent, eyes darting from Shizuru to Nao and back. Nao was glaring at her, not surprisingly. But Shizuru, Shizuru was looking at her but she couldn't detect any emotion there. It was just a look. Natsuki stepped back, just as Shizuru turned from her to Nao, and crouched down, hands around the younger girl to support.

"Are you okay?" Shizuru asked.

"Fine," Nao allowed herself to be pulled up to her feet. She glared at Natsuki again, finding only an empty space where Natsuki once stood. Her brows knitted. "Damn that Kuga!"

Shizuru's eyes followed Nao's, picking up the remnants of the thundering footsteps leading away which she assumed was Natsuki's. Slowly, Shizuru turned back to Nao. "What happened?"

--

Natsuki pulled her bike into the clearing, maneuvering perfectly between the trees and bushes. She parked, before her hands reached up to remove her helmet, settling it down on the body of her Ducati. The sun had set hours ago and her eyes squinted slightly, now that her bike's headlight was off too. For a while, her eyes were fixed to the top of her helmet, the black exterior blending well with the surroundings. Finally, she looked up, a sigh escaping as she turned to look at the direction of the school building. She couldn't see it through the trees though. She had just thought that morning that she couldn't afford to gaily skip school as she liked anymore. And now she did just that. But she couldn't help it. The moment she hit the road, she couldn't stop. She dismounted slowly, gaze lingering on her bike before she turned and headed to exit the bushes.

She breathed deeply, feeling anxiety filling her up. She didn't want to think about Shizuru, or Nao, or what happened that morning but now that she was in familiar school grounds, she couldn't stop the images that came flashing by. Strangely enough –or maybe not- the image that flashed by the most was not of her conversation with Nao, or what happened afterwards but of that emotionless look Shizuru gave her. It bothered her, because she wanted to know what Shizuru was thinking. What could Shizuru be thinking? It was painfully obvious what happened there, with Nao on the floor and her standing. No, she didn't regret throwing Nao on the floor. She enjoyed every single second. That bloody woman deserved it.

Which led her to something else she feared. Shizuru would surely ask Nao what happened, and though Nao had initially, like everyone else, agreed to keep quiet about Shizuru's memory loss, would she, in a fit of spite after being thrown to the floor, reveal everything to get back at her? The more she thought about it, the more she couldn't rule out the possibility. Nao had proven herself quite a vengeful person. The double attempt on her life spoke volumes. The only thing that made her doubt that Nao would do it is the fact that Nao would be treading dangerous waters. And Shizuru is not someone to be messed with. Nao came closer to death with Shizuru than she had with Nao. That, at least, would make Nao think twice and that relieved her a bit.

So, using the presumption that Nao played safe and just blurted anything to shake Shizuru off the topic, the only thing that she could do now is to find out what exactly Nao said to Shizuru in case Shizuru decides to question her as well so that their stories matched. She turned to head for the dorms, still not quite out of the bushes yet. She prayed that Nao was in and not out on her 'manhunt'. She needed to know what Nao said before any other run-in's with Shizuru, which seemed to be happening quite frequently lately. Tonight was safe though. At this hour, if not asleep, Shizuru would surely be in her room.

"Welcome back"

Natsuki jumped back, her heart literally skipping a beat at the scare of the voice that suddenly sounded. She clutched her chest before turning to the silhouette leaning on a nearby tree. But it was clear who it was. Shizuru, still in her uniform, indicating that she probably had been there since school ended. Natsuki struggled to compose herself. "Don't…Don't scare me like that. What are you doing here?"

Shizuru smiled apologetically for the scare. "I'm waiting for Natsuki, of course."

Natsuki stopped, feeling warm suddenly. But she didn't know whether it was caused by the speed of her blood pumping all over her body or Shizuru's blatant answer. The warmth gathered mostly in her cheeks, and she decided it was the latter. "Why-Why would you do that?"

Shizuru tilted her head to one side. "I want to"

Natsuki could've sworn her cheeks were getting hotter by the second. With haste she tore her eyes from Shizuru and focused on a single patch of grass on the ground. "You're going to ask me what happened this morning."

There was a slight pause on Shizuru's side, but then a reply came. "No"

Natsuki's head shot up, not hiding her surprise. For a moment she looked pass Shizuru and spotted the now visible dorm building. "Nao told you?"

Shizuru nodded. "But, if Natsuki wants to tell me your side of the story, then I will listen."

_My side of the story? Crap. I don't know what Nao said_

"I-It wouldn't be any different, would it?" Natsuki said hesitantly and walked pass Shizuru, heading for the dorms. "Nao's side is enough."

Shizuru eyed Natsuki, before silently following. Her footsteps were so light that Natsuki sometimes didn't know if she was still following or had stopped. Well, all should be fine as long as Shizuru doesn't ask further questions. Natsuki didn't know what Nao said but from the looks of it, Nao played safe and Shizuru bought it. She was just going to have to follow through.

"I'm honored, Natsuki," Shizuru said suddenly. "Why didn't Natsuki just tell me?"

Natsuki turned to Shizuru, still walking. Her brows furrowed in complete puzzlement. "What are you talking about? Honored?"

Shizuru grinned. "That a cute girl like Natsuki likes me."

Natsuki instantly froze.

_Wha…?_

She blinked, snapping out of her reverie. Shizuru was still grinning at her. "Wha-What are you saying?! Who told you that?!"

"Ara, does that mean that Natsuki doesn't like me?" Shizuru feigned a hurt expression. "I'm a little hurt."

Red creeped to her cheeks. "No! I didn't mean it that way," Natsuki frantically stressed.

Shizuru's laughter only served to brighten Natsuki's cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm just joking," Shizuru said, having calmed down. "But, it seems that Natsuki's side of the story is different from Nao's after all."

"Nao?"

_That bloody bitch!_

"What the hell did Nao tell you?"

Shizuru seemed to have expected that and smiled calmly at Natsuki. "Nao said that Natsuki likes me and therefore is jealous that Nao is spending time with me. So Natsuki vented out your anger on Nao."

Natsuki almost couldn't believe her ears.

_I…like Shizuru and I'm…jealous?_

'_She's not your property, is she?'_

_Could it be……? I just don't want Shizuru to be taken advantage of…_

"Natsuki"

She quickly responded to her name, by looking at the caller.

"What happened?" Shizuru asked.

Natsuki dropped her gaze.

_What happened?_ What_ happened?_

She glanced inwardly. "Nao…is just using you. That's why I got angry."

Shizuru softened and walked towards Natsuki, circling around to stand in front of the younger girl. "Thank you, Natsuki, for caring," she smiled gently. "I know what Nao is doing."

Natsuki's eyes widened slightly. "You do?"

Shizuru maintained the smile, and stepped back. She looked up at the sky. "It's late now. Natsuki must be tired, no?"

"Eh? Aah," Natsuki automatically nodded before she even processed the question.

"In that case, goodnight Natsuki," Shizuru said, already backing away.

Natsuki scowled. "Wait, where are you going?" but the moment it left her she felt like an idiot. Where else could Shizuru be headed to?

Shizuru stopped, raising an eyebrow. "To my room of course. Or…does Natsuki wish for my company?" she added with a cheeky grin.

Natsuki turned bright red in an instant. She childishly turned away and folded her arms. "Baka!"

What followed was an unearthly silence, as though beckoning Natsuki to answer properly with a yes or no instead of 'baka!'. She gulped, the deathly calm unnerving her. Even Shizuru wasn't saying anything. Was she really meant to say something? Didn't 'baka!' get the massage across? What did her 'baka!' mean anyway? 'Baka! Yes, isn't it obvious?' or…she gasped. Is that what she wants? Or…'Baka! Who would want your company?' Who…indeed. Slowly, she rolled her eyes to peek at Shizuru, and froze. Shizuru stood right in front of her, with probably only inches of distance between them, but she never heard the approach. She stared into those pools of blood crimson, completely unable to look anywhere else. Maybe she was being paranoid, but she felt that Shizuru was getting closer.

_Too close_

"Does Natsuki wish for my company?" Shizuru whispered, the tone light, almost teasing but at the same time serious.

Natsuki forced herself to inhale an uncertain breath, gaze still trapped in those crimson pools. Her mouth opened. "Yes"

_Too close. Too close. Too close._

"Then I will keep Natsuki company," Shizuru said and smiled. "What does Natsuki want to do?"

Natsuki swallowed. It was definitely her paranoia, somewhere in her right mind she knew that Shizuru wasn't coming close but even so, she was becoming more and more uneasy.

_Too close. Too close. Too close. Too close. Too close. Close. Close. Close. Close. Closer. Closer. Closer…_

Natsuki lifted her hands, and in one swift unsuspecting motion wrapped them around Shizuru's shoulders, pulling herself into Shizuru's body.

Shizuru stiffened, eyes widening slightly. "Natsuki? What's wrong?"

Natsuki felt Shizuru's hands on the back of her shoulders, as though to pull her away. She closed her eyes and wrapped her hands a little tighter. "You asked me what I want…," she paused. "I want you to stay just like this and keep me company."

Shizuru looked inwardly at the other wrapped around her, surprised at the request. "Natsuki…," she relaxed, and slowly slid her hands down Natsuki's body to wrap around the waist and back. "If that is what Natsuki wants."

Hearing and feeling Shizuru's answer, Natsuki opened her eyes and sighed internally. She mouthed a thank you; sure that Shizuru never heard it anyway. She didn't know what compelled her to do this, but she knew that she didn't want to let go anytime soon. Those arms around her, having those arms around her made her feel secure. Uneasy, but secure. A strange feeling. Natsuki closed her eyes again, whatever anxiety that she had before now gone. And in it's place, something else…

* * *

I have so much mixed feelings about this chap I don't even know where to start…**Jyou**, you understand how I feel don't you? You know, although I ranted SO MUCH the other day, as I typed this I realized I still forgot to ask your opinion on something that happened in this chap. So much for the list…

anyway, let me know what you think, as usual. hopefully I'll get the next chap up ASAP


	8. Questions

**Here's chapter 8. There are quite a few hints in this chap for future events; it's all the matter of whether you pick it up. Eh-heh…and I'm starting college next week, so I'm thinking updates will slow down…dramatically. But I'll try my best! For now, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Questions **

"Naa, Shizuru," Natsuki called.

Shizuru rolled her eyes to look at Natsuki, already smiling. "What is it?"

Natsuki didn't return the look, instead tried to focus on something outside the window. But nothing caught her attention. The view from the window of this new temporary Student Council Room definitely wasn't as enchanting as its predecessor but she suppose it does have its own charm. Like the person who is always here half the time. She shot a quick peek at Shizuru, standing beside her by the window, before looking away again. "Yesterday…"

Shizuru smiled wider. "What about yesterday?"

Memories of their ridiculously long in-each-others-arms session popped into Natsuki's head. Needless to say, it had been awkward when they finally parted, of which she didn't remember who initiated anyway. A slight tinge of pink colored her cheeks. "Sorry, I took so much of your time."

A satisfied grin took over the more innocent smile. Shizuru rolled her eyes away from Natsuki. "It's okay. Natsuki should ask that of me more often. Natsuki's body is so soft and nice to the touch after all."

The tinge of pink flared up, and a choke sounded in her throat. Natsuki glared accusingly at Shizuru. "Why do you always…"

Shizuru eyed Natsuki with interest. She prodded. "Always?"

Natsuki's gaze dropped, desperately looking for something else to focus on. "Say such…embarrassing things."

Shizuru's hand reached out, and using her forefinger and thumb, tilted Natsuki's chin up. She felt a surge of glee when those emerald green eyes widened slightly. "Of course, because I'm addicted to Natsuki's cute blushing face."

The blush deepened, but at the same time Natsuki's eyebrow twitched. She whirled her head away from Shizuru's grasp. "What's with that reason?" she half pouted. "It's…unreasonable!"

Shizuru chuckled lightly, retracting her hand. She leant back on the wall and took a deep breath. "I'm serious, Natsuki."

Natsuki blinked, and turned back to look at Shizuru, catching the suddenly heavy tone in that voice.

Shizuru cast Natsuki a gentle but serious look. "Natsuki may ask anything of me"

Natsuki's left hand fidgeted, the sudden urge to reach out to Shizuru beaten down by her own consciousness not to. The consciousness that told her 'Yeah, so you were hugging her all night last night. That doesn't give you the right to be so familiar with her. Why do you want to touch her anyway? It's unlike you.' Her brows furrowed.

_Unlike me? What is like me?_

She shot her yes out the window, hesitantly raising her left hand to the window pane, pretending that was what she wanted to do all along, because she knew that Shizuru noticed her fidgeting.

_I just…wanted…_

From the corner of her eyes, she spotted Shizuru's right hand hovering over her left, and then it clasped down. She found her eyes inexplicably drawn back to Shizuru together with their hands. Shizuru's hold was gentle and light. Loose enough for her to pull away if she wanted yet firm enough to keep her from falling. Natsuki gulped, shifting her gaze from their hands to those eyes. "Shizuru…"

Shizuru smiled, her grip tightening just a bit. "Don't be afraid to ask of anything"

Natsuki's mouth gaped slightly with uncertainty. She closed, and then opened it again. "I…have a question"

"What is it?" Shizuru asked.

Natsuki looked down. "Yesterday, you said…you know that Nao is using you, then why?"

The sound of Shizuru seemingly forcing a breath caused Natsuki to raise her head. She saw there, that sad, almost guilt-ridden smile. Her eyes widened, taken aback. The look Shizuru gave her seemed to say that she didn't want to answer.

"It-It's okay if you don't want to-" Natsuki stopped, and looked at their hands, as Shizuru shifted their positions until Natsuki's palm was resting her own. Natsuki looked at Shizuru, puzzled by the act. "Shizuru?"

Shizuru didn't answer, instead poked her middle finger at Natsuki's wrist. Natsuki reacted by glancing at their hands, still not having the slightest idea what Shizuru was getting at. But catching sight of her hand on Shizuru's, all thoughts became incoherent. The skin beneath hers was so soft and smooth, much fairer than her own. Slowly, she lightly traced her fingers over the hand that held hers. Shizuru didn't stop her, so she went on. Then she felt something, and stopped. She lifted her hand and peered at Shizuru's, seeking the anomaly she felt. There were scars, of injuries that must have just recently healed.

'_You're hand, what happened?'_

The flower garden. Shizuru's bandaged right palm. "This is?"

Shizuru nodded. "Yes, it's from then."

Natsuki eyed Shizuru's hand closely. The injury wasn't a single cut or anything like that but rather, many small cuts that were scattered mostly around the top half of her palm and all five fingers. Her brows came together in complete puzzlement. The pattern of the injury was so abstract, she hadn't a clue what could've caused it. She brought her eyes back to Shizuru. "What happened?" She didn't believe that Shizuru doesn't know.

A pause. There's that sad smile again. "That morning, I came upon Nao at the steps of the dormitory."

Natsuki's jaw tightened, unconsciously. "Nao did it?"

Shizuru kept the smile. She shook her head. "No. Nao thrust a branch at me, saying it was an olive branch."

_Olive branch?_

'_So, if I offer her an olive branch, she doesn't have a reason to not accept, don't you think?'_

"She really did it," Natsuki muttered under her breath, more to herself than Shizuru.

Shizuru drew her head back. "Natsuki seems to know about this"

Natsuki snapped up. "No, we, Nao and I……talked…about this before. That's all."

Slowly, Shizuru dropped her hand and brought it behind her to join its pair, leaning back on the wall. Her eyes watched as Natsuki too, withdrew her hand, albeit a bit reluctantly. She raised an eyebrow, before turning her head away with a sigh. "I noticed, in Nao's eyes, the insincerity of the peace offering. But…I reached for the branch still. Not to accept, but to reject," she paused and listened for any reaction. She closed her eyes, chest heaving a breath. "What happened after that…I'm not sure."

Natsuki frowned. "What do you mean?"

Shizuru's brows furrowed, and that smile returned. She leant her head against the wall, eyes snapping open. "When I came to, my hand…was already like this. The branch, was on the ground in pieces and Nao…stood there looking at me, eyes widened, pupils shaking, shoulders shaking…she was terrified beyond description. Because of…something I did," she brought up her right hand once again, staring at her palm. "It wasn't a nice sight. All the splinters, and all the blood but…I don't know why, I can't recall even touching the branch."

"What? But, how…is that…?"

Shizuru's fingers curled into her palm and she glanced at Natsuki. "The peace offering may be fake but, the fear in Nao's eyes wasn't. Does Natsuki understand now?"

She did. It was guilt. Shizuru allowed Nao to approach her because of guilt. But it's unfair, because Shizuru doesn't even know what happened there. What exactly happened? To make Nao so scared…she wanted to know. She nodded to the question, but kept her head down, unsure how to ask her own.

"I tried asking Nao what happened, but every time I do she becomes uncomfortable and doesn't answer. So I stopped asking," Shizuru said

Head still down, Natsuki released a silent breath.

_You won't, then I will_

"Don't ask"

Natsuki straightened, startled that Shizuru knew what she was thinking, and startled that Shizuru was asking her not to ask. "Why?"

Shizuru turned her head to look at Natsuki. She smiled, no longer that sad, guilt-ridden smile but still, one that was different than normal. Her expression softened. "Please"

Natsuki stared hard at Shizuru, not believing that the other seemed almost pleading for her not to question Nao. Why, she imagined herself asking. What are you hiding? But it didn't feel right. Why would Shizuru hide something that she herself knew nothing about? That would only mean that instead of hiding, Shizuru was protecting that one person who knew, but feels uncomfortable when the topic is brought up. A bitter smile came to her. "You two seem pretty close"

Shizuru must have noticed the bitter tone, if the smile wasn't enough to tell how Natsuki was feeling, but she paid no heed to it. A grin creeped across her lips. "Nao is a cute girl. Our relationship, is short, is probably beneficial connection."

"Beneficial…connection?"

Shizuru smiled, indicating the obvious. "We both gain something from the other. Isn't that what you call a beneficial connection? Nao is especially good at filing. She might make a good clerk in the future."

Natsuki found herself amused by the statement, despite her bitterness. "You're not serious" To say that the image of Nao with glasses seated on a desk filing paperwork all day long didn't fit was an understatement.

Shizuru let out a stifled laugh. "I'm not"

Natsuki was puzzled. No, she didn't think that Nao could really make a good clerk but if Shizuru wasn't serious, then why say it in the first place. She searched Shizuru's face for an answer, only finding Shizuru smiling kindly at her. At once she realized that her own bitter smile was lost. On cue, Shizuru's smile grew just a bit wider. Natsuki helplessly relaxed, her eyes softening. So Shizuru noticed her bitterness, and was only trying to lighten her mood. But was it wrong for her to feel pissed? Never mind the beneficial connection crap, for Shizuru to be protecting Nao, when did they become that close? She felt her mouth open, and the words flew out before she could stop herself. "Do you like her?"

It didn't help that her eyes were still locked on Shizuru's face, that she could see the changes in Shizuru's face, down to the minute. It also didn't help that it took so long for Shizuru to answer. Almost as though it was a question she shouldn't have asked.

Shizuru shifted her weight and stood properly. "Yes, I do," she answered, turning her body to Natsuki. "But," she leaned in, "I like Natsuki much much more."

Natsuki froze, jaw dropping slightly, warmth flooding her cheeks. She knew she was blushing, and by the glint she saw flash by in the other's eyes, she also knew that the other was quite pleased by the sight. She wanted to retort, say something, anything but found that her body wouldn't cooperate. She just stood there looking back at Shizuru as Shizuru's words repeated in her head. Then she caught sight of Shizuru's hands reaching up to her neckerchief, and began to almost agonizingly untie it, eyes never leaving hers.

Natsuki's jaw dropped further, before she closed it and gulped. "What…are you doing?"

Shizuru seemed to smirk. "Ara, isn't it obvious? Natsuki can see, can you not? I'm untying my neckerchief."

Natsuki never felt so small in her life. There she was, standing in front of someone who was probably only two centimeters taller than her yet seemed towering, smirking down at her while nonchalantly answering. She eyed the neckerchief, now loose, as Shizuru casually pulled it free from the collar. Natsuki gulped again. "Wh-Why?"

No answer came; instead Shizuru dangled the neckerchief next to Natsuki's face, near enough that it grazed Natsuki's cheek. Natsuki rolled her eyes to the piece of cloth, and then back to Shizuru again. Just as she was about to speak, Shizuru drew the cloth away and simply held it in front of Natsuki in a way that its full shape could be seen.

"Natsuki probably wouldn't believe this," Shizuru started, holding the cloth closer to Natsuki. "But just a little bit more, and Natsuki's face would be as red as this."

Natsuki's eyebrow twitched and she immediately covered her cheeks with her palms, and turned away, embarrassed to death. She tried to literally rub the red off her cheeks but to no avail. If anything, it had the opposite effect instead. And the sound of Shizuru laughing her heart out -gracefully, of course- definitely wasn't helping. She glared at Shizuru, cheeks still covered. "Shizuru! You-You did that on purpose!"

Shizuru stopped, and gazed adoringly at Natsuki. She smiled. "Partially. I did say I'm addicted to Natsuki's cute blushing face, did I not?"

"I said that's unreasonable!" Natsuki snapped.

Shizuru chuckled, and slipped the neckerchief back around her collar. "Truthfully, that is what Natsuki wanted to know, am I wrong? After all, questions like whether I like someone, doesn't concern Natsuki, does it?"

"Eh?" Natsuki blinked. Instead of feeling speechless or shocked that the first thing Shizuru said was indeed true, or feel intimidated by the second, she felt a surge of unexpected confidence. She dropped her hands from her cheeks and raised an eyebrow. "Ho, you went out of your way just to make your point that I shouldn't be asking about things that didn't concern me, what a hard worker you are."

The heavy sarcasm seemed to throw Shizuru off a while, but she quickly regained her calm. The smile that followed was almost wicked. "It wasn't without gain," she said, in a most carefree tone. She eyed Natsuki to see if the blush would come back on, but it didn't. She had to admit she was surprised by Natsuki's resolve. "I do like Natsuki better."

Success. Natsuki scowled. "Stop joking!"

"What makes Natsuki think I am?" Shizuru asked.

Natsuki folded her arms. "Hmph! Because that is what you always d-" she stopped.

_Always?_

'_I like Natsuki'_

'_Natsuki…I love you'_

_She wasn't joking then. But now…is different. Unless, she feels the same?_

Thunderous knocks sounded on the door, effectively drawing her out of her thoughts and she looked to the door. Without waiting for any form of reply, the door slid open, revealing Suzushiro Haruka and close behind, her bespectacled friend and unofficial follower. Oddly, it was Yukino who stepped up and spoke, while Haruka resigned to just stand next to the door.

"Kaichou," Yukino greeted, immediately catching sight of Natsuki. The surprise was quickly hidden under a smile. "Ah, Kuga-san. You're here too."

It didn't go unnoticed though. Peeved, Natsuki acknowledged Yukino with a slight nod before making herself physically unsociable. That means, keeping her arms folded, slumping her shoulders forward and turning her head away.

Shizuru pretended not to notice the change. "What brings you all the way here, Kikukawa-san?"

Yukino turned to Shizuru but before she could say anything, another voice rang out. "The Director called for you," was said in an offhand tone by Haruka, still standing at the door, not even looking into the room.

Shizuru glanced at Haruka, and then she smiled. "Is that so?" She turned to Natsuki, who now cuts her unsociable act and relaxed. "Ah, it seems that I have to part with my Natsuki," her hand slipped around Natsuki's cheek. "We were just having a good time, no?"

Natsuki heard a short gasp, probably coming from one of the other two also present in the room. Either that or they gasped in unison. Then it suddenly came to her, the reason for the gasp. She and Shizuru must be quite a sight right now, plus with all the things that Shizuru just said. It practically begs for a misunderstanding. Or does it? She wanted to slap Shizuru's hand away, but found herself unable to move, again. Her mouth opened, but no words came.

Thankfully, Shizuru herself retreated, but not without a light chuckle. "Just kidding" And with that said, she headed for the door, not once looking back, and leaving the other three to stare after her.

Clearly dissatisfied, Haruka made sure to shoot a stare at Natsuki before she motioned to Yukino to leave. Yukino did exactly that, after having slid the door shut gently. Natsuki watched the door close, and exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding when it finally did. Her left hand instantly came up to her chest, in an attempt to calm the rapid beating of her heart, of which she wasn't sure when it started. But probably somewhere around when Shizuru said 'my Natsuki'.

_My…Natsuki?_

_No. She said she likes me better. Better, meaning in comparison to Nao. That's all it meant._

Natsuki sighed, and leant back on the wall. She closed her eyes to calm herself, her left hand following the rise and fall of her chest. It worked, and she dropped her hand. She opened her eyes, and saw the entire expanse of the now empty room. Her brows furrowed.

_Then…why do I feel so…saddened?_

* * *

The _'I like Natsuki'_ and _'Natsuki…I love you'_ from Natsuki thoughts are from episodes 21 and 25 respectively. Just thought I should mention it. Leave me your thoughts and I'll see you guys in next chap!


	9. Answers

**Here's chapter 9. (bows) please forgive me for the absurdly long delay! I wanted to continue writing even though my college has started but then I found myself just lacking time to do so. I'm sorry, but time management is not my forte. I finally managed to write this because of my semester break. Unfortunately though, I've been slacking off so much that I wasted the semester break**** away. I will now disappear for another 3 months. My apologies once again, but I really don't think that I can write with the workload I have so do enjoy what I have managed. Comments are welcomed. If you spot any mistakes in the grammar, please let me know. Typed it late at night, brain wasn't really functioning.**

* * *

**Chapter ****9: Answers**

Autumn, the season the weather becomes colder, the leaves change color and eventually drop off. The season in preparation for winter. Red hues take over what was once green and the falling leaves have been likened to that of the sakura. But without question, the degrees of enjoyment for both are vastly different. People flock to see the sakura fall, the same attention isn't given to the humble autumn leaves.

Natsuki walked leisurely, passing tree after tree, carefully gracing each one of them with a glance. At any other time, she may have wondered why she was having such weird thoughts. But at this very moment, the red hues of the falling leaves brought to mind something else. Something she didn't mind as much, so she let it pass. It surprised her, how she never took the time to watch simple things, like leaves falling from a tree, so much that it fascinated her. Why do the leaves fall?

She felt a brush on her forehead, and drew back. Her hand shot up to grasp the object in question, and brought it down to eye-level. She held the leaf by its stem, twisting it back and forth between her thumb and forefinger. The repeated action made the color seemingly spread out from the leaf, and that caused a smile to break from her lips.

"Autumn does suit you," she murmured to no one in particular. Perhaps, to that thought in the mind. She stopped the twisting, and stared at the leaf closely. She sighed, and dropped her hand, with it the leaf. She watched as the leaf glided to the ground. But her contentment of watching the leaf was interrupted by a boisterous voice.

"What was that?!"

Natsuki came to attention and turned to the voice, grimacing as she did so. She knew that voice all to well. While it seemed as though the voice wasn't talking to her, she did question what its owner was doing out here. Slowly, she searched for the source of the commotion. Soon, she spotted the culprits, and instinctively stopped, not wanting to get too close. At a not too distant clearing, the Head Executive and her assistant stood at one side, while a lower ranked member, in his distinctive white uniform stood in front of them, which also happens to be the receiving end of what appeared to be a long lecture.

She silently pitied him, but as it was none of her business anyway, she made a move to leave. She had no intention of getting spotted. She looked away, but then she felt a pair of eyes on her.

"Kuga-san," was called.

She stopped, and eyed the caller. It was the assistant. And somehow the assistant's calling have also drawn the leader's attention.

"That's enough," Haruka said, obviously to the Executive member in front of her. "You may go; I'll deal with the problem later."

"Understood," came the reply. He respectfully backed up. "Well then, excuse me."

Natsuki watched the Executive member take his leave, before she refocused her gaze on the other two. She sighed softly, such that no one heard it but herself. "What do you want?"

Haruka stared at Natsuki, keeping the air of intimidation around her though she probably did not notice that it intimidated no one. "Just a word."

Haruka stepped forward while Yukino followed and reluctantly, Natsuki matched the move. However, both parties stopped at a suitable talking distance. Not too close for comfort yet not too far that they would have to raise their voices.

"You seem pretty close to Fujino lately," Haruka commented, not wasting a second.

Natsuki's eyebrow twitched. She knew somehow that Shizuru would be what Suzushiro wanted to talk about. Perhaps she even knew that it would be regarding their closeness, because Suzushiro had been giving her unsettling stares since she saw their interaction the other day in the Student Council Room.

'_Ah, it seems that I have to part with my Natsuki, we were just having a good time, no?'_

She resisted the blush she felt was coming at the memory. "And which part of that is your business?"

Haruka raised an eyebrow. "It was you who wanted to hold back from her that she lost her memories of you. What you're doing now defeats the purpose, doesn't it?"

Natsuki knitted her brows. It annoyed her how Suzushiro spoke as though she understood everything. As though she knew what it was like, to be in her shoes. "You-," she paused, "don't know what my purpose is."

_But then again…._

She looked down.

_Neither do I….._

"That's true, I don't," Haruka replied. "My only problem is that with your…unrestrained interaction with that bubuzuke onna, even if nobody says anything to her, she might still be triggered to remember."

Natsuki looked at Suzushiro, slightly unsure. What had just been said does hold credit, but that wasn't what the thing that was troubling her. "Why is that a problem to you?"

"Of course it's a problem!" Haruka said forcefully. She balled up her right fist in front of her. "It's not only my problem, it involves the entire Student Council, no, the entire school!"

Natsuki blinked, and then stared wide eyed at Suzushiro. "Wh-What?"

Haruka pursed her lips in displeasure at the other girl's incomprehension. She turned to Yukino. "Yukino, explain."

Yukino nodded and stepped forward, drawing Natsuki's eyes from Haruka to her. "Let me explain, Kuga-san. Actually, kaichou has been different ever since that incident."

Natsuki cast Yukino a sideways glance. "Like that's not obvious enough."

The retort threw Yukino off. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't talking about her memory." Natsuki's silence prodded her to continue. "Since then, she has been doing all her work as seitokaichou diligently, and she pays keen interest in the school's restoration. She also doesn't push her responsibilities to Haruka-chan anymore."

"Do you know what that means?" Haruka asked, before Natsuki could say anything. And she didn't wait for Natsuki to answer either. "That means, that somehow something in her memory of you was causing her to slack off! And that's why, well, if she regains her memory by herself it can't be helped, but if that doesn't happen and you change your mind about your silence, I want you to not say anything at least until she graduates."

Haruka took a deep breath. "I hate to admit it but that bubuzuke onna is a really capable seitokaichou. She always has been. It's just that she's never taken her work seriously before. Now that she is, we need her. No, the school needs her."

Natsuki turned away from Haruka. "That's selfish."

"You're one to talk," Haruka replied, but her tone was free from any accusation. She folded her arms. "One selfish act for another. This is far."

"Fair, Haruka-chan," Yukino corrected.

The one being corrected whipped her head around. "Not now, Yukino. This is a serious conversation."

"…Haruka-chan…," Yukino said helplessly.

Natsuki found herself grinning at the exchange. Slowly, she turned back to face the Head Executive. "And what makes you think that I will do as you say?"

"Kuga-san, this is just a request. I thought to let you know," Haruka said. "Whatever you do from here, use your own reasoning to decide."

--

'_Whatever you do from here, use your own reasoning to decide'_

Natsuki leant back against a tree and stared at the spot where Suzushiro and Yukino had been just moments ago. The two had abruptly taken their leave after that last sentence in a manner that didn't entertain anything else she had to say. Not that she had any in the first place. Her brows furrowed.

_What the hell? If that was what she wanted to say, why bother with everything else?_

Natsuki paused, and then looked up once again to the leaves. But despite that, one certain thing Suzushiro said did catch her attention.

'_That means, that somehow something in her memory of you was causing her to slack off!'_

She sighed, and turned away from the tree. "Something in her memory of me?" What could it be?

"Ah, it's Natsuki!"

Natsuki found herself without a chance to even turn to look as by the time she did so, the caller had already found its way to her side. She could've sworn the voice sounded first at a distance. But, she looked down at the black haired wild child now beside her, that was to be expected. "Mikoto."

She looked down the path Mikoto came from and spotted another expectation walking slowly towards her. She straightened herself from the tree. "Mai."

Mai lifted her hand and waved. "Natsuki."

"What are you doing here?" Natsuki asked when Mai finally joined their side.

"Mikoto couldn't stand being indoors all the time, so I finally decided to let her out for a walk," Mai answered.

Natsuki eyed Mai's roommate, who seemed to be in her own world, marveling at just about everything. "You talk like she's your pet."

Mai grinned cheekily. She reached out to pat Mikoto's head. "Mikoto, didn't I say not to run around?"

"Mai!" Mikoto clung onto Mai, rubbing her head into Mai's bust at the same time enjoying the head pat. "But I finally get to go outside!"

Natsuki watched the proceedings with vexed interest. "How's her injury?"

"That's not an injury! I'm fine!" Mikoto declared, uncaring that the question wasn't directed to her. "Right, Mai?"

Mai laughed helplessly, before she looked at Natsuki. "Actually no, it's not fine. The wound hasn't healed completely yet, but it doesn't seem to be troubling her."

Natsuki smiled at Mikoto who still clung onto Mai. "She's a tough girl."

"She is," Mai agreed, eyeing the girl in her arms. She promptly turned her attention back to Natsuki. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing. Just thinking," Natsuki replied.

"What? Stop, stop. Every time you do you just end up with negative thoughts," Mai said.

Natsuki's brows furrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

"Ah! Ani-ue!" Mikoto exclaimed suddenly. She released Mai and ran up to the approaching black clad figure. The other two too, turned to look.

"Ani-ue!"

"Mikoto-chan," he greeted. He smiled at the others as well. "Mai-san, Natsuki-san."

"Reito-san."

"Kanzaki," Natsuki greeted in turn. "No, or is it Minagi now?"

His eyes lightened at the mention of his other name. Or true name. No one knew for sure for he never clarified. Perhaps this would be his chance. "Mah, about that, both are fine I suppose."

"Both are fine?" Natsuki asked. "That isn't practical."

He chuckled lightly. "You're right, that certainly won't do. In that case," he looked down at his sister. "Mikoto-chan, which do you prefer? Kanzaki or Minagi?"

"Ani-ue is ani-ue! Nothing else matters!" Mikoto stressed.

Mikoto then received another round of head patting, this time from her ani-ue. He shifted his attention to Mai. "What does Mai-san think?"

"Eh? Me? Um…I think it doesn't really matter to me, because I call you Reito-san," Mai answered.

He grinned, and looked to Natsuki. "Then Natsuki-san should call me Reito as well. Saves all the trouble, am I right?"

Natsuki's brow twitched. There was somehow something intimate in calling first names, and she wasn't sure she was comfortable when it came to the male in question. "I'll stick with Kanzaki," she said flatly.

"May I ask why?" Kanzaki questioned.

"I'm more used to it," she explained, then shot a look to Mikoto. "And Minagi makes me think of your sister."

"I see. That's fine then," he replied. "More importantly, shouldn't Mikoto-chan be resting?"

The question was probably directed at Mai, but the subject answered it herself.

"Ani-ue too! I've had enough rest!"

Mai chipped in. "Mikoto is right. You should be resting too, Reito-san. How's your shoulder?"

"I'm honored Mai-san is worried."

Mai blushed. "That-anyone would be worried! Ne, Mikoto?"

Mikoto nodded. "Hmm!"

"Mah, thank you for your concern. The wound hasn't healed and it still hurts to move but I wanted to get some fresh air," he said. Much of his days had been spent in the dorm, so it's no surprise he wanted to get out for a while.

"Hmm! Outside air is the best! And Mai promised to let me eat ice-cream-" Mikoto stopped, before she whirled back to Mai's side. "That's right! Mai! Ice-cream!"

Mai inwardly groaned. "And I thought you finally forgot about that."

Mikoto shook her head excitedly. "Let's go!"

Mai sighed. "I got it, I got it." She looked at the other two. "Would you two like to join us?"

Reito shook his head. "I was never fond of ice-cream."

"One has to wonder if Mikoto is truly your sister. There doesn't seem to be any similarities," Natsuki interjected.

"Being siblings doesn't mean we have to be similar, wouldn't you agree, Mai-san?" he said instead.

"Eh? I…I guess?" she answered, caught off guard.

Mikoto tugged at Mai's arm. "Mai, hurry up!"

"Okay, okay," Mai looked at the older girl. "Natsuki, are you coming?"

Nastuki shot her a glare. "Do I need to answer that?"

Mai smiled. "I suppose not. I'll have to catch both of you some other time then."

"It's okay. Please take your time and enjoy the ice-cream, Mikoto-chan," Reito said.

"Yes, ani-ue!" Mikoto nodded, already pulling Mai away.

"You're not kicking off school, are you?" Natsuki asked.

Mai turned her head to look at Natsuki. "There's no way I'd do that. I'm just getting her a simple one from the school cafeteria."

Mikoto's eyes widened. "Eh?? That's not fair, Mai!"

"What do you mean not fair? I told you until your wound heal, you're prohibited from leaving the school grounds."

"Mai!"

"No."

"Mai!"

"I said no."

The remaining two watched the petty bickering up until Mai and Mikoto disappeared from sight. Kanzaki laughed lightly while Natsuki merely grinned.

"I'm envious," Kanzaki remarked.

Natsuki raised an eyebrow, and cast him a glance. "Of Mikoto?"

He shook his head. "No, more of their relationship. They're very close."

She held her eyes; however she wasn't looking at him. Slowly though, they fell down. "Yes," she replied, her voice falling short. "Very."

It didn't go unnoticed. Kanzaki rolled his eyes to look at the blue haired girl. But it didn't last; he turned away, and chose to instead focus his attention on a distant object. "Natsuki-san."

She looked up with apprehension, the tone of the third year's voice startling her. What added to it was his turned away gaze. "What?"

For a while, he seemed to be battling with himself with whether or not to speak, and this made Natsuki even more anxious. Kanzaki was well known for having a smart mouth, and he was a man of confidence too. He never was at a lost for words, and there wasn't many issues or people that he couldn't tackle. He wasn't the fukukaichou of the Student Council just for show. Then what is it that he wants to say that he seems unable to bring himself to? Natsuki gulped, and waited.

Finally, with an obvious intake of breath, he broke his silence. "How is…..Shizuru-san?"

Natsuki drew her head back slightly, as though he shot her with the mention of that name. Maybe he did. But it would be the question, not the name. He should know better. She lowered her gaze to the ground, and an almost painful smile took over. "Still like that."

He flinched at her answer, having not expected the resigned tone in her voice. She had sounded like someone who fell out of a twentieth story window falling to her death. And have accepted it. He sighed. "I see," and after a moment her added, "I'm sorry."

Now she was startled. Her gaze found its way back to him in less than a second. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Because there is nothing else I can do," he answered.

Her brows came together as she looked away. "I don't want sympathy."

"Then I'm sorry for that as well," he said.

Natsuki said nothing in return, not because she didn't have any, but because she felt it unnecessary at this point. She had sensed it; this wasn't what Kanzaki truly wanted to say. It was just the prelude, which means that the real thing should be coming soon. There was no need to say things that might direct the conversation elsewhere.

"Natsuki-san."

Said person puckered her ears.

"May I ask you something?"

This was it. She turned to face him and found that he too, was now facing her. She hoped that he couldn't see that she was unnerved. "What is it?"

"As of now," he started as he stared at Natsuki in the eyes. "What is your relationship with Shizuru-san?"

The surprise was evident on her face. "What is my relationship…with Shizuru?"

The nod that followed was so light it was barely noticed. "Are you two…friends? Or is it…more than that?"

She felt herself grow warm, and upon realization she quickly turned her face away from Kanzaki's unwavering stare.

_More than that?_

It was what Shizuru wanted from her before. But the question was 'as of now', and as of now, Shizuru and her…what are they? What is their relationship? Friends? She was very tempted to say so, but somehow that notion didn't sit well with her. It didn't feel right.

'_Natsuki may ask anything of me'_

'_I like Natsuki much much more'_

Do friends say such things to each other? She couldn't even compare, because she didn't have many. And when she thought about it, neither did Shizuru. Despite all the fame and glory and fawning over that the kaichou received. It could be said, that they were everything to each other.

"I-I don't know," the reply came finally.

Kanzaki seemed to have expected that answer. "I shall change my question then. What is Shizuru-san to you?"

She froze.

_What is Shizuru…to me?_

"Even if you don't know what your relationship is, you should at least know what she means to you, am I right?" Kanzaki asked.

She gulped. Her eyes found their way back to Kanzaki, glaringly so. "Why do you want to know this?"

He seemed to sigh, and a small smile came to his lips. "Now, now Natsuki-san, there is no need to be so serious. I'm sorry; I'll get to my point."

She visibly relaxed, but the glare remained.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again. "If I said…I want to date Shizuru-san, would you allow it?"

She was taken aback. "What? But, but I thought that you like Mai!"

"I do like Mai-san, but," his smile disappeared, "I've always liked Shizuru-san."

Her eyes widened. There had been tons of rumors circulating school about Kanzaki and Shizuru, but she didn't expect any of them to be true. Because Shizuru always denied any sort of involvement other than platonic.

"I confessed to her before, two years ago, but she rejected me," he continued, knowing that she obviously hadn't heard this before. "She told me she couldn't accept my feelings because; there is someone else she likes."

She swallowed. Her throat felt tight.

_Someone else…was it…me?_

"She never told me who it was, but from the way she spoke of that person, I immediately knew I was no match," he said, seemingly answering her unsaid question. "But I was still able to be by her side as her friend, and when she ran for the seitokachou position, I ran for fukukaichou just to be able to be by her side."

Natsuki did not respond. The information was somehow puzzling.

"Then Mai-san transferred here, and then I found that I like Mai-san. But it would appear that I fail again. She chose Tate-kun," he chuckled, although Natsuki did not share his humor. He did not mind. "Now, Shizuru-san has lost past memories of you, so that is why this time she might accept my feelings. I want to try again, if that is alright with you."

She remained silent, but then suddenly inhaled a breath. "Why are you asking if it's alright with me?"

"Because she has already rejected me, and I have already accepted her reason that she likes someone else. I want to take advantage of the situation, yet I want to respect her wishes and the only way for me to do that now is by asking you Natsuki-san. Because you're the someone else Shizuru-san spoke of," he answered.

A blush came to her cheeks at his last sentence. Though she figured that as much, otherwise he wouldn't be having this conversation with her, to hear him say it straight to her face, she couldn't help it.

He smiled upon seeing the red that now tinted Natsuki's cheeks. "It's a nice feeling isn't it? To know that someone likes you?"

She blushed deeper. It wasn't so much what he said, but who he meant behind what he said. It indeed is a nice feeling.

_Because it is Shizuru…..she rejected Kanzaki……because of me_

Her breath hitched at the thought and she promptly directed her eyes away from him. They settled instead on the ground. "I'm sorry."

He raised an eyebrow in genuine surprise. "Why are you apologizing?" The conversation seemed the exact opposite of one just moments before. "Please, Natsuki-san. I don't want you to take it upon yourself that Shizuru-san rejected me because of you. That was Shizuru-san's decision based on her feelings at that time. So don't apologize. That will not change anything. Instead," he paused. "May I have your answer?"

"My answer?"

_If it's alright with me? How can it be? Why isn't it?_

"That's why you asked me what Shizuru is to me?" Natsuki questioned.

He nodded. "Yes. Based on your answer, I may not have to ask if it's alright with you. I'm sorry. I do realize it's rude."

Natsuki opened her mouth to speak, but then something caught her eyes. She followed it, perhaps unconsciously so, but she would not resent it. Her open mouth gradually cam to a shut, with nothing having left it. Not even air.

"Shizuru," she breathed.

Kanzaki raised both eyebrows at the name. Then he turned, following Natsuki's eyes and then he too, seemed to be at a lost for words. He swallowed. "Well…indeed."

In actuality, neither of them was looking directly at the object of interest. Nor did they see her. But both of them knew that it was her. No one else had such a commanding presence. No one else was more sought after. No one else had more fans than even Kanzaki himself. And no one else has her fans follow her around, every second they have to spare. So while they had not seen Shizuru herself, it could only be her at the centre of that human circle now making its way slowly towards…wherever it was headed. Only Shizuru had the power to attract so many bees.

And unsuspecting eyes. Even other students, who previously were minding their own business appeared to be unable to stop themselves, and cast the human circle, its epicenter to be exact, at least a glance before resuming their businesses. Even the two in conversation. Kanzaki was first to break out of the trance.

He let out a chuckle. "It would seem that Shizuru-san is being hounded today as well."

Natsuki kept her gaze fixed on what she wanted but has yet to see. "She is hounded everyday."

He looked her way and laughed some more. "I suppose that is also true." He turned his vision back to the person of interest. "But…Shizuru-san does have a certain charm, and charisma too that some people cannot help but to be attracted to her. Like a moth to a flame," he shot her a glance from the corner of his eyes. "Wouldn't you agree, Natsuki-san?"

"A moth to a flame?" she repeated, ignoring his question. "Is that how you see yourself and Shizuru to be?"

He blinked. "Something like that perhaps. Why do you ask?"

"Once the flame dies," she turned, finally breaking away from that human circle to stare straight at him. "The moth moves on to a new one."

His expression at that moment could be described as shocked, speechless, and to some degree, even threatened. He said nothing for a while, but with obvious effort, he reassumed his calm exterior, and offered Natsuki a barely there smile. "I must admit, I never thought of that. And what about you, Natsuki-san? How would you define yourself and Shizuru-san?"

Natsuki closed her eyes, and looked back towards the circle, which she now noticed has come to a halt. But its epicenter still eluded sight. She frowned. "I wouldn't define us at all." She stared still. "We just are."

Suddenly, a crack formed on the circle, allowing the outside to see its centre for the first time since its appearance. She straightened, her eyes searching for only one thing whilst ignoring all other insignificant bees. Then she saw it, those chestnut locks. Its owner had her back to her.

_A stray_

She willed her stare to sear right into the back of the other's head. Willed herself to be noticed.

_Who got picked up_

As though she felt the existence of a pair of eyes intensely admiring the back of her head, Shizuru turned. She did so slowly, still entertaining the whims of her fans for small talk and gracing them with a smile. She blinked at what she saw at a distance. Red locked onto green.

_And thus_

The smile faltered for just an instance, such that no one but she who was passionately watching noticed. No, it was safer to say that only she had the ability to see the change. The smile quickly came back on, but it was different. It was real. It was for her. Exclusively for her.

_Lost the ability to survive on its own_

Natsuki felt herself grow warm and shades of red appeared on her cheeks. Shizuru did not miss it. She still spoke to those around her, but her eyes were now solely fixed on Natsuki. She raised an eyebrow suggestively and then giggled, apparently to something that was said by a fan, for some of them were laughing too. But Natsuki knew it wasn't so. That giggle was meant for her.

She grew redder, and the owner of the crimson pair smirked. Even through the distance, even though there was no exchange of words, Natsuki felt herself being teased. But that's not to say that she minded it at all. She smiled back at the teaser.

The crack closed, the fans now flocking closer and tighter with renewed interest. Natsuki scowled, her eyebrows twitching. But other than that, she made no other move. She merely watched the circle with disdain. A breath was exhaled, and then she turned to Kanzaki with a start, as though just realizing that he was indeed still there.

It was clear from the glint present in his eyes that he had been observing her interaction with Shizuru. His smile was one that is amused.

"No," Natsuki said.

"No?" he asked, clarifying as he did not understand the 'no' that came from nowhere.

She looked into his eyes, calm and steady. "That is my answer."

Comprehension slowly took over his features and he let out a resigned sigh. He chuckled and smiled at her. "I'm still no match to you, Natsuki-san."

She shot him a bewildered look but remained silent.

"I knew you would say that. But I still wanted to try," he continued. "I think…that even if you said yes, Shizuru-san herself would still have rejected me again."

Her expression lightened with surprise. "Why do you think so? Didn't you say that this time she might accept your feelings?"

He softened. "Do you really not know? Shizuru-san still thinks of you. No, she's always thinking of you. Do keep that in mind."

She was taken aback, though her expression and eyes deceived him. The ends of her mouth curved up into an ambiguous smile. Shizuru herself had said it before. She hadn't forgotten it. She hadn't forgotten anything. "I know."

He smiled, pleased with her answer. "Well then," the look he gave her now was one filled with mischief. "I'd best leave the two of you alone."

"Eh? The two of us?"

She quickly caught on that he meant Shizuru and her. Her brows furrowed in confusion as how could they be alone when the kaichou was surrounded by so many of her fans? She looked over to the human circle, and stopped. She blinked. There was something different. While mostly still there, it was slowly dispersing. And she soon found out why. Its epicenter, the honey, was no longer there. She turned back, but Kanzaki too has disappeared.

"What the-?"

Then she sensed it. A scent. It filled her nostrils, and warmed her to the bones. The very familiar scent of green tea. And it belonged to only one person. Shizuru was close. Very close, though she knows not exactly where. It surprised her how much it didn't surprise her. She had anticipated it. From the moment she saw that Shizuru was gone, she knew with utmost certainty, that Shizuru would come to her.

A rustle sounded behind her.

"Did you enjoy looking at me that much-"

It was a whisper right next to her ear. She grinned.

"My Natsuki?"


	10. Decisions

_Here's chapter 10 finally up! Firstly, I'd like to say that I have stated in the previous chapter that I'd be hibernating for 3 months, that's plus minus 90 days, but currently it's been more than that, so I sincerely apologize. I can't quite believe it but there were some readers__ (you know who you are) who actually sent me reviews and PMs to remind me to update. I'm very touched, thank you. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, please do enjoy this chapter, and I will definitely put up another chapter sometime in the next 3 weeks. _

_Some chapter notes. Tsukimori was mentioned in the anime in ep 7, I'm not sure if that is a place name or something else but currently I used it in this chap as a place name. _

**--**

**Chapter 10: Decisions**

A pair of eyes stared at her. Within those eyes were amusement, and surprise perhaps, as well as, what was that? Annoyance? No, it can't be. Boredom then? She didn't know which seemed a worse prospect. But amusement was definite. Better to just stick with that then. So the conclusion was, a pair of crimson eyes stared at her with amusement. Why exactly was this?

"This is getting old, no?"

This was uttered by the crimson eyed, which answered the amusement question as well. And she couldn't agree more. Other times it was inside shops or stores, but today was the middle of the street. She figured that must contribute to the increased awkwardness.

"It must be…six times now?"

Good guess. But it was seven actually. The other wasn't keeping a good count. But she wasn't expecting her to. It was quite a few times already.

Well here's what's happening. This meeting marks the seventh time they had stumbled into each other while shopping in Tsukimori. The first few times had been brushed off as coincidence, on the older girl's part at least. But at this point, it would be difficult to still believe that. She knew better though. It truly wasn't coincidence. The fact is, they used to shop in all the same places together so even now, though the 'together' part doesn't apply anymore, all the same places still did. 'Together' would happen from there.

She huffed. "Seven."

Those eyes lit up. More surprise. More amusement. "Ara."

Coming from her, that was always a bad sign.

"Natsuki was keeping count?"

A blush appeared.

The other grinned. "If I didn't know better, I would think that Natsuki is stalking me."

The blush deepened, followed closely by a twitch of the eyebrow. She glared at the taller girl. "Who would stalk you?"

The crimson eyed raised an eyebrow, and the grin widened, showing a little bit of teeth. And was that a snicker she heard? She swallowed. She had to admit, she hated it whenever this expression showed. This expression which said that the other knew something she didn't. It didn't help that she's seen this expression way too many times than to her liking.

She quickly scanned her last sentence, 'Who would stalk you?' and immediately she noticed the flaw. But she was too late.

"Well," the other began, "if I may ask Natsuki to look over my left shoulder, at the entrance of the nearby convenience store."

She looked. She spotted said convenience store with ease and focused on the entrance. There was a magazine rack inside, positioned in such a way that its back faced the street. Three girls in that distinctive orange school uniform stood there, with what appeared to be fashion magazines in their hands. Only that the magazine wasn't what they were looking at. Their eyes looked pass the top of the page at the very person who stood there with her. And occasionally at her too, with intense jealousy.

She turned back to the one with the victorious look on her face. She sighed. She couldn't believe that she let it slip her mind even for a moment just who she was with. Of course there would be people stalking her. _She_ is Fujino Shizuru after all.

"Do they ever leave you alone?"

To this Shizuru smiled helplessly. "I wonder." She let it hang there, and chose to eye the younger girl's dressing instead. "Natsuki came straight from school?"

Natsuki nodded, glancing at her uniform clad body.

"What did Natsuki come here for?"

She cocked her head slightly. "Maa…I had some things to do. You?"

"I was shopping," came the answer.

She looked down, and noted the empty hands.

Shizuru instantly picked this up and chuckled. "I couldn't find what I wanted, so I'm heading back now."

"I see," she replied and cast another look at the convenience store. The three were still eyeing Shizuru, and still death glaring her. She scowled. "Will they follow you back?"

"If they live in the dorms, I suppose they will," Shizuru answered.

At that Natsuki focused on their faces, half covered by the magazines. She frowned when she found she recognized them. "I think they do."

Shizuru sighed and smiled helplessly. "Yes, I think so too."

The defeated look on Shizuru's face was absolutely priceless. Who would've thought, the great Fujino Shizuru rendered helpless by a bunch of fan girls? Natsuki let out a chuckle, which soon turned into full blown laughter. The other smiled, and joined in.

The shorter girl stared straight at the taller one as the last of her glee left her. "Need some help?"

Shizuru locked eyes with Natsuki. "What might Natsuki be implying?"

She smirked, pleased at the other's curiosity. She tilted her head, motioning to her bike parked across the street.

The crimson pair scanned across the street and eyed the bike with interest before they turned back to the vehicles owner, slightly bewildered.

Natsuki proceeded to explain herself. "You know they won't be able to follow me."

A smile formed on the kaichou's lips. "I never said I doubted that. But," she paused, looking intently at Natsuki. "You brought a spare helmet?"

Because the question seemed honest in its curiosity, Natsuki nodded, for it was true. She failed to see where it would eventually lead.

Shizuru feigned surprise. "Did Natsuki not come here by yourself?"

Another nod. Still oblivious.

A glint appeared in those crimson eyes. It made them look even more striking than they already are. They narrowed at the person in view. "Then why did Natsuki bring a spare helmet?"

Green eyes widened. Caught. "That-That's because I…I-"

It was Shizuru's turn to smirk now, as she looked expectantly at Natsuki.

Natsuki stopped, knowing full well that she won't win this one. "It doesn't matter!" she snapped. She quickly turned around and headed for her bike. "Let's go!"

The other seemed genuinely surprised by her actions. But she was soon overcome by mirth as she walked after Natsuki. "Ara,"

Natsuki felt an impending dread.

First came a gleeful hum. "So Natsuki is stalking me after all."

Her eyebrow twitched. How she did hate the older girl sometimes.

--

Somewhere between vehemently denying that she's a stalker and coming up with a plausible reason for the presence of the spare helmet, she managed to get both Shizuru and herself onto the bike. She caught a glimpse of the actual stalkers rushing out of the convenience store as she passed, but they were soon out of sight and out of mind. Those were the events preceding how she got here. Except, she didn't know where 'here' was.

To put it generally, she was in a park. But why and what she was doing there, she had no idea. She looked ahead, at the back of the person who should have all the answers. Said person walked at a leisurely pace on the path. She matched the pace.

She let several breaths pass before she asked. "Here is?"

Shizuru stopped, and turned to look at Natsuki. She smiled, inhaling deeply as she surveyed her surroundings, seemingly in deep thought.

Natsuki found herself holding her breath.

Shizuru's eyes finally landed back to Natsuki after a moment. "This is-" she started, the pause being clearly intentional. She grinned at the inquisitive look she received. "-a park, Natsuki."

Natsuki's brows furrowed at the obvious. "I know that! What I meant is what are we doing here?"

Shizuru gave Natsuki a confused look. "I'm wondering as well. Was it not Natsuki who brought me here? Stealing me away to have me all by yourself."

It was said with such frankness that for a while she did not notice anything out of place. She blinked. And then she turned red. "You-You directed me here!"

The accusation only made the other laugh.

"And I didn't steal you away! I was just helping you," she stressed.

Shizuru stared objectively at the red faced girl and smiled. "Natsuki is just so easy to tease."

"But," she continued before Natsuki could retort. Her smile grew. "That's what I like about Natsuki."

The one being spoken to was taken aback. Her eyes widened, and her mouth hung open, speechless. Then of course, there was the blush.

Shizuru smiled still at her companion's silence. She turned around and headed to a spot on the grass. "Shall we sit?"

"Eh?"

The other did not wait, and went ahead to sit on the ground in a more comfortable fashion than her usual seiza-style, with her legs in front of her bent at the knee.

Natsuki watched as Shizuru sat. Composing herself, she slowly followed the act, placing herself to Shizuru's right with about a foot distance between them. But it was a worthless distance, for as soon as she relaxed in her position, Shizuru readjusted herself, closing the gap to mere inches.

That act startled her, and she whirled her head to look at Shizuru. "Wha-"

Her words stopped there, mainly because Shizuru wasn't even looking at her. Instead, she faced straight ahead, but with that evident curve of the lips which said she knew what she did, but would not necessarily acknowledge it. Natsuki sighed, and relaxed once again. It wasn't as though she disliked the closeness. She had grown to long it. Had she been bolder, she would not have created the distance in the first place.

Shizuru seemed to sense Natsuki's growing comfort. "Thank you, Natsuki."

Natsuki looked over. "What for?"

The look was returned. "For helping me. I'm really grateful."

Natsuki dipped her head low and smiled small, accepting the gratitude. In time she wrapped her arms loosely around her knees and like the one beside her, she just sat in silence. There weren't many people in that part of the park, and as a result it almost seemed as though it was just them and nature. The wind was a bit strong, mercilessly bringing down leaves from treetops. But it didn't bother her.

She glanced at Shizuru, who had her eyes closed. "Tell me honestly," she said, catching the other's attention. "Why did you want to come here?"

Shizuru opened her eyes, and slowly rested her head on her hands, which in turn rested on her knees. She made no move to face Natsuki. "I once said that being in the former Student Council Room puts me at ease. Do you remember?"

The younger girl nodded.

"But now I can't go there anymore, because the whole building has been closed off for restoration," she said, glancing around a few times. "So this place is a replacement. I feel calm, there's a good atmosphere, and-," she smiled at Natsuki, "good company too."

A light blush adorned Natsuki's cheeks. "But…I wasn't with you the other times."

Shizuru raised an eyebrow. "Other times? What other times?"

"Eh?" Natsuki was equally confused.

But then it dawned on the kaichou. "Ah, today is the first time I'm here."

The biker seemed even more perplexed. "Then how did you know how to come here?"

A chuckle escaped Shizuru's lips. "It wasn't my intention to come here. But, all is well, no?"

Natsuki stared at Shizuru in disbelief. "You mean you had no idea where you were directing me?"

Shizuru grinned and nodded. "And yet we found this place. Does Natsuki not like it here?"

"No," Natsuki replied. "I like it here."

_But that's only because…you're here with me_

That was something she had begun noticing within herself recently. Whatever she did, wherever she went, she wanted Shizuru to be there with her. Even in the most mundane of activities. And as long as the older girl was with her, she liked it. Take this park for example, she was not one who usually holds sentiments for places-save a few truly significant ones-, but because Shizuru was here, she felt she liked it already.

"I feel that it would be different it Natsuki wasn't here with me."

Natsuki froze. Did Shizuru feel the same way?

"Natsuki," Shizuru called. "Since we came here together, what do you say we make this place our special place? A place that we can only come to when we're together."

"Wha-What?"

The notion seemed somewhat childish, and even through Shizuru's serious tone she wasn't sure if the other meant it. Things like having secret places, wasn't that what kids do? Though that didn't mean that she didn't like the idea. Quite the opposite in fact. The whole suggestion that this place would be special to just both of them made her stomach flutter. She was going to have to treasure this place from now on.

"You don't like the idea?" Shizuru asked suddenly. There wasn't any disappointment in her voice. The question sounded more like bait.

This was bait she would take willingly. "I didn't say that."

A smirk spread across Shizuru's face. "That's a deal then."

"You're a strange person, Shizuru." Natsuki remarked. She nudged the older girl with her elbow as though to reinforce her point.

Shizuru laughed. "And you're not, Natsuki? People of a kind tend to stick with those of the same kind."

"Which part of me is strange?" Natsuki retorted.

Shizuru brought a finger up to her chin, and feigned a look of deep thought. "I could name many, but one should suffice. Is stalking not strange?"

Natsuki's brows knitted. "I already said I wasn't stalking you." She rolled her eyes away with a slight pout. "But…I was hoping…I'd run into you. That's why I brought the spare helmet."

"Natsuki was hoping to run into me?" Shizuru asked, brows raised. "Why?"

The dark haired one further turned her face from the light haired one's view. The pout grew as well. She made a choked sound when the words didn't leave her throat properly. "That's because…we ran into each other so many times before but I couldn't give you a ride back…I didn't have a spare then..," she paused. Somehow she felt she wasn't getting any nearer to the point. "I just…wanted to offer you a ride back. That's why."

There was a moment of silence as Shizuru pondered Natsuki's answer. But then she raised her hand to stroke Natsuki's hair gently, lightly brushing the ear as well. It sent a shiver down the receiver's spine, and caused her to face Shizuru once again.

Shizuru was smiling. "That is very sweet of Natsuki. Thank you."

Natsuki could not find any words to say in return, so she just stared at Shizuru as the stroking of her hair went on. She swallowed. There was warmth in her chest. This person wasn't exactly the one she had known for the past four years, but was it really a bad thing? Did she want Shizuru to remember again? She wasn't sure anymore. Before this, she had been stalling it because she didn't know how to go about it. She hoped that Shizuru would remember on her own accord. But now, she was beginning to agree with what Mai had said. That it was better off this way.

She dropped her eyes, unable to keep up the contact of their eyes.

_What would Shizuru do…if she was in my position?_

"Naa, Shizuru,"

Perceptive as ever, Shizuru immediately noticed the solemn tone. She stopped the stroking and drew back her hand. "What is it, Natsuki?"

Natsuki looked almost dejected when the hand left her. But she hid it by taking in a breath. "Can I ask you a random question?"

"Ara, a random question? That sounds interesting," Shizuru quipped. "Please, go ahead."

She paused slightly. "You like tea, don't you?"

The answer was obvious, of course. And Natsuki knew it too. Shizuru was well known to be a master in the art of tea sipping, if such an art exist, as well as tea ceremony. So she must like tea.

Shizuru appeared mildly amused. "It certainly was random, but I must say I'm disappointed."

Natsuki's brows twitched. Disappointed? What exactly was Shizuru expecting her to ask? "I'm not done yet."

"Is that so? Then, please go on. Yes, I like tea," Shizuru replied.

She huffed. It was hard not to feel lifted by Shizuru's teasing, albeit a little irritated as well. She steadied herself once again, licking her lips. "Let's say, that you woke up one day and discovered that you've lost your sense of taste for tea. You can still taste everything else. Just tea."

All the while she asked, she observed the other's expression. The lack of change prodded her to go on. "If you could restore it somehow but there is no guarantee of success, would you restore it, or let it be?"

Shizuru seemed intrigued. But without a moment's hesitation she answered. "I would let it be."

Natsuki blinked; surprised that Shizuru didn't even take a second to think about it. "Why?"

It was only now that Shizuru stopped to think. "There must be a reason it happened that way, no? And since it happened already, maybe it's for the best."

"But…how you lost it was not natural. Why don't you try to restore it?"

"You said so yourself, there is no guarantee of success. Even if I let it be, there is no saying that I won't regain it, no?"

"And if you don't?"

"Then…I suppose I will have to get used to it," Shizuru murmured. "Though I cannot taste tea, I can still smell it, see it, hear it, and feel it." She sighed contentedly. "There is not only one way to enjoy something, Natsuki."

At that Natsuki fell silent. Was that it? Was that what Shizuru would do? She knew it was inaccurate though, for there were elements she omitted from her tea questions. Elements she couldn't include.

"Don't you think that tea will be angry with you? Because there is a way for you to be able to taste it again, yet you refuse to take it," Natsuki pushed.

Shizuru stared at Natsuki, and then chuckled softly. "Natsuki really is strange. Tea is not alive, why would it be angry at me?"

She knew even when she asked that question, that it made no sense. But because of the elements she omitted, she had no choice but to form the question that way. So she couldn't say that she was disappointed by Shizuru's answer, she could only blame herself for that, but she wished for a moment that Shizuru would just overlook common sense to answer that question. Because in truth, tea _is_ alive.

She turned away. "Never mind. Forget it."

She thought she ended the conversation, and was about to bury her head in her hands to sulk when Shizuru spoke.

"How I lost my taste for tea is not natural," Shizuru started. "So I think that tea would understand, if for a moment I'm at a loss of what to do."

Natsuki eyed Shizuru, startled that Shizuru was going along with her. "Just for a moment?"

An ambiguous smile took over. "A moment that I end up procrastinating while deciding what to do. Then I realize, tea doesn't taste half bad this way. So I'll wait and see. And in the meantime, perhaps I'll come to appreciate the days I took tea's taste for granted."

Her eyes widened. She couldn't believe what Shizuru just said. It was almost exactly what she was really doing. Was that truly just Shizuru's opinion? Or was it something else?

"Shizuru…"

Said person looked her way. "Yes?"

She looked her straight in the eyes. Nothing. This time though, instead of feeling down as she usually did when Shizuru showed signs of remembrance only to find that it was false alarm, she smiled. She didn't smile because she was happy, but because she had made up her mind. She had come to a decision.

"Thanks."

She wanted Shizuru to remember. What Shizuru had forgotten, was a part of their lives. And she wasn't going to just let it go. If the memory doesn't come back naturally, then she would tell her. But not now. Not yet.

"Shizuru," she now wore a determined expression. "Say my name."

Shizuru was clearly taken aback by the sudden request. "Wha…," she trailed off, seeing the unwavering look on Natsuki's face. "…Natsuki."

Natsuki smiled.

_That's right. I won't let you forget that name._

"Again."

There was hesitation, but eventually Shizuru said it, slower than the first time. "Natsuki."

_I won't let you forget me._

"Again."

"Natsuki." Less hesitation, but still cautious. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, still sporting the smile. "Nothing. I just wanted to hear you say my name."

Shizuru gazed incredulously at the younger girl. Then she broke into laughter. Propping her head up on her hand, her incredulous gaze turned into one of pure adoration. "Natsuki."

Because she didn't ask Shizuru to say her name again, she gave the other a questioning look.

But the older girl merely shook her head, a suggestive smile accompanying it. "I just wanted to say your name."

The look of adoration and suggestive smile proved too much. A patch of red appeared on Natsuki's cheeks. She quickly turned away in an attempt to hide it, but when she heard Shizuru chuckle she knew it had been noticed. Well, she didn't really think that Shizuru would miss that.

Suddenly, she felt a sensation on the knuckles of her left hand. When she looked she saw Shizuru's right hand hovering above her left, the thumb gently brushing against her knuckles. It gave her goose bumps. She gulped, and raised her eyes to meet the others.

But Shizuru wasn't looking at her. The evident curve of her lips was present though. She knew what she was doing. The curve slanted upwards further, as though knowing it was being watched.

Natsuki pulled her eyes back to her hand, and almost absent mindedly, she twisted her hand to expose her palm to Shizuru. Immediately, Shizuru's own spread across Natsuki's palm and tenderly brushed each of the five digits. It laid there for a while, unmoving. Just feeling the heat from each other's palms. Then, as though it was the most natural thing to do in the world, both hands slowly intertwined their fingers.

_I won't let you go._


End file.
